


Female Sexual Response

by 50251sid



Category: The Borgias, The Borgias (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Consensual Underage Sex, Courtship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Innocence, Unresolved Sexual Tension, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-04-16 18:19:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4635438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50251sid/pseuds/50251sid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An exploration of the power of female sexuality</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Baby Animals

**Author's Note:**

> This is for you, cbear, with affection and thanks

The Nationality Festival was in full, vigorous swing.

Every year, on the second Saturday in August, the community paid homage to the ethnic diversity of the population of the area, bringing them all together in a sprawling public park located beside a lake several miles out of the heart of town, to enjoy the food, music and crafts of the mix of cultural groups. The park was surrounded by dense woods and featured tennis courts; a baseball field; a playground with swings, slides and a jungle gym for children; and picnic shelters with high roofs and rough wooden tables and benches and sooty black grilles for barbecue cooking.

The largest pavilion featured a stage upon which, at this moment, a band of musicians in traditional Greek garb played a lively tune while dancers of assorted ages and degrees of proficiency with their footwork, clasping hands, cavorted in a circle, whooping and laughing and shouting “Opa!”

Cesare slouched in a folding chair near the stage, his arms crossed, his long, jeans-clad legs stretched out in front of him, seemingly bored. But behind his wraparound sunglasses, his eyes followed the girl’s every move.

She was very, _very_ young, maybe fifteen, certainly no older than sixteen, with radiant blonde hair hanging halfway down her back in a thick braid which swayed as she gamboled amid the circle of dancers, holding the hands of those on either side of her. Just over five feet tall, she had a softly rounded face that was flushed pink with exertion and pleasure. Her white peasant blouse slipped down off of one ivory-skinned shoulder, revealing the tops of her full breasts which bounced delectably as she danced. Her navy blue cotton shorts showed off her rounded, curvy thighs and backside.

His mouth went dry.

“Here you go.”

Cesare glanced up when he heard the voice of his best friend, Mick, who handed him a beer concealed by an insulated foam sleeve to look like a can of soda.

“Thanks, man. I could use this.”

Mick, of a spare and wiry build, with a thatch of auburn hair over an angular face, sank down into a chair next to Cesare.

“Since when are you a fan of this kind of entertainment?”

In a gesture so subtle that only Mick saw it, Cesare pointed to the young blonde dancer.

“Oh,” Mick said. “Oohhh. She’s cute as hell, but so young. Don’t you think she’s a little too young?”

“Yeah, but I’ll make an exception this time.”

The exuberant music came to an end and the dancers, breathless, applauded the band.

Cesare kept his face impassive behind his dark sunglasses but watched intently as the girl walked towards a picnic shelter across the field from the music pavilion.

“Oh, fuck!”

“What, Chez?”

“Look who crawled out of his hole.”

Even from a distance, the distinctive red hair of the tall youth who had accosted the pretty dancer revealed him to be Cesare’s younger brother, Juan. Beaming his high-wattage grin, he was chatting her up, making her smile and blush. When he took her by the hand and led her towards the dense trees beyond the field, Mick tensed and sat up straight in his chair.

“Shit, Chez. That can’t be good.”

“No, it can’t. How about we take a little stroll in the woods?”

 

The scene they came upon in a clearing was hideous.

Juan had picked up the girl from behind and was holding her close to his chest with one strong arm while he covered her mouth with his other hand. Her sandaled feet kicked as he held her six inches off the ground, her arms pinned against her sides. Tears spilled from her terrified eyes.

Standing in front of her, avoiding her flailing feet, was Juan’s friend Alphonse.

“Let her go, Juan. Now.”

Alphonse snapped his dark, curly head in the direction of Cesare’s cold, peremptory voice.

Juan kept his hand over the struggling girl’s mouth and nuzzled her throat.

“Brother. Hey. Don’t be pissed. There’s enough to go around for you. Mick too.”

Cesare’s voice was deadly calm.

“I said let her go.”

“Aw, come on. We’re just having a little fun, aren’t we, honey?”

“She’s not having fun, Juan,” Cesare growled, his voice low and velvety as the snarl of a panther.

“Not yet, Brother, but we’re just getting started.”

So fast did Cesare move that Juan didn’t even realize what had happened. Suddenly his arms were empty and the girl was clinging to his older brother, who kept one arm around her and clenched his free hand into a fist.

“You’re finished, Juan. Now get the fuck out of here. You too, Alphonse. I ought to kick both your stupid asses.”

Juan’s face burned red with rage.

“Listen, Brother, who do you think you are? We weren’t bothering you. We weren’t going to hurt her. We just wanted to show her a good time. She wanted it.”

“I don’t think she’d agree. Now get lost.”

Alphonse tucked tail but tried to save face.

“C’mon, Juan. Let’s get outa here and let them have her. Goddam cocktease. She’s too fucking green anyway. She’d be no fun at all.”

Juan pointed a finger, shaking with fury, at Cesare.

“This ain’t over, Brother. I’ll see you at home.”

“What are you gonna do, Juan? Tell on me? ‘Jeez, Mom, mean old Cesare wouldn’t let me rape a little girl in the park.’”

“Fuck you, asshole,” Juan spat and turned to leave, followed closely by Alphonse.

“I’ll trail them,” Mick said quietly. “Make sure they leave.”

“Thanks.” Cesare released his hold on the young girl, who squeaked in fear and threw herself back against his chest.

“Whoa, Baby,” he assured her. “It’s all right now. You’re safe.”

He folded her gently into his arms. God, how tiny she was! She barely came to the middle of his chest. He tucked her head under his chin and rocked her from side to side. She was crying, her little body shaking with the sobs that tore through her.

“They would have…”

“Raped you. Well, they won’t now. Why did you go with them in the first place?”

“The red haired one, Juan…”

“My dear brother.”

“Yes, him. He said he would take me to see some baby animals. Bunnies, a calf, some little chicks.”

Cesare’s jaw clenched.

Her lips quivering, she continued.

“As we were walking into the woods, the other guy joined us.”

“Alphonse. Idiot. Monkey see, monkey do.”

“I got nervous when I saw that we were going deeper into the woods, moving away from the area where people were. Then when Alphonse came along, I really started to panic. I tried to scream but Juan grabbed me and covered my mouth with his hand and…and then you and your friend came along.”

“I saw you leave with Juan and I knew he was up to no good, so Mick and I followed you.”

“I guess that was dumb of me to go with him, huh? But he told me there were baby animals…”

She began to sob afresh.

“Shh. Shh,” he whispered to her. “You’re safe now. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

 _Jesus!_ She was just a baby herself, small and vulnerable. She raised her enormous blue eyes to his dark green ones. He drew in a sighing breath and smiled tenderly at her.

“You promise?” she whispered.

“I’ll protect you. I promise.”

“For real?”

“For real. By the way, my name is Cesare. Borgia. We haven’t really been introduced.”

“Your name should be ‘Hero’, because that’s what you are.”

“Aw, now…”

“I’m Lucrezia. Lucrezia Hamilton. I’ll be a sophomore at Shad Run High School.”

“So you’re…what?…fifteen years old?”

Her chin came up.

“Almost sixteen.”

“When is your birthday?”

“Um…April.”

“You turned fifteen four months ago.”

Again, the stubborn set of the chin.

“So? So how old are _you_?”

“I’ll be twenty next month.”

“Oh.”

He took her gently by the shoulders.

“Listen, Lucrezia. My idiot brother and his friend committed a crime against you. Do you want to go to the police?”

“Police? Gee, I don’t know. That’s pretty serious.”

“So is what they were about to do to you.”

“I’ve heard that police and defense lawyers do terrible things to women who bring rape charges. Make them out to be whores. Claim they ‘asked for it.’ You yourself questioned why I went with Juan.”

“Lucrezia, I didn’t mean it that way. I was just trying to understand what he said to you to make you trust him.”

Her beautiful eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. If my parents hear about this, they’ll be so mad at me. Blame me for being so dumb. And I’ll cause grief for you and your family.”

“Don’t let that influence you. Those shitheads don’t deserve consideration.”

“On one hand, they may do it again. If another girl gets hurt, I’ll feel so guilty. I’ll never forgive myself.”

“True.”

“But there’s no guarantee they’d even be arrested, much less convicted.”

“Realistically, I’d say you have a point. Juan is seventeen. Alphonse is sixteen. Two young boys. It’s dicey that charges would be brought. But it’s your call. I’ll support you whatever you want.”

“Cesare, I’m not brave. Not a crusader. And I didn’t get raped.”

“Only because I came along.”

“True. But you _did_ come along.”

To his utter surprise, she flung her arms around him and pressed close.

“I just want to stay with you.”

He embraced her and held her tenderly, as if she were a fragile vessel.

“We can stay here as long as you want.”

 

Cesare escorted Lucrezia to the shelter where her mother had set up a picnic meal on a long table covered with a red and white checkered cloth.

Virginia Hamilton’s head came up sharply when she saw her daughter’s swollen eyes and red nose.

“Lucrezia. You’ve been crying.”

“A wasp stung me, Mommy. It really hurt. Cesare helped me. Mom, this is Cesare Borgia.”

“Oh. How do you do, young man. Thank you for taking care of Lucrezia.”

“It was my pleasure, Mrs. Hamilton.”

“Mom, Cesare can join us, can’t he? After all, he was so nice to me.”

Taken aback, Virginia stammered.

“Well, um…I suppose so. Sure.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hamilton, but I really can’t stay. I have to rejoin my friend,” Cesare demurred.

“Ask him to come over, too,” Lucrezia piped, ignoring her mother’s widened eyes.

“No, I’d better go. I doubt your family was anticipating extra company.”

He carefully settled Lucrezia down on the rough wooden bench at the table and pressed her hand with his.

“I’ll phone and check on you later,” he murmured, smiling gently. “Promise me you’ll remain here with your mother. It was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hamilton. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

Lucrezia followed him with moonstruck eyes as he walked back to the music pavilion.

“Did I hear that boy say he’d call you, Lucrezia?” her mother grumbled. “You gave him your phone number? I don’t know about that. He looks too old for you.”

“He’s only nineteen, Mommy. And I’m nearly sixteen.”

“You just turned fifteen.”

“He’s really nice, Mom.”

“He didn’t try anything funny with you?”

“No, of course not. He’s decent.”

“He’s a boy, Lucrezia. Boys are never decent.”

“Well, _he_ is.”

“Just how attractive do you find him, Lucrezia?”

“Very.”

“Oh, dear. I was afraid of that. It wouldn’t be difficult at all for him to persuade you to give up your virtue.”

“My what? Really, Mommy! Be serious. I just met him. He was kind to me.”

“That worries me all the more. He made you trust him.”

“Well, why wouldn’t I? He helped me.”

“My mother always used to say, ‘It’s for the boy to try and the girl to deny.’ Boys are only out to get what they can from a girl. You can’t blame them. It’s just how they are. Animals. You have to be careful, Lucrezia.”

“You mean, if a boy behaves badly towards me, it’s my fault?”

“You have to let them know right off the bat, in no uncertain terms, that you’re ‘not that kind of girl.’ Make them respect you.”

“Boys aren’t responsible for their own behavior?”

“They can’t help themselves, honey. It’s their nature. You have to rise above them. Be better than them.”

“You mean, that if a girl is raped, it’s her own fault?”

“She probably allowed herself to get into a situation which she should have avoided, if she had been smarter. Boys will say and do anything to get what they want from a girl. You have to be careful.”

“Hoo-boy!”

Lucrezia fell silent and remained subdued.

When her father Preston and twelve-year-old brother Jeff returned from playing baseball with some other men and boys attending the festival, they were in great spirits, dusty from the ball field and eager to eat.

“Preston,” Virginia said, as she piled potato salad onto a paper plate for her husband. “Lucrezia met a boy.”

“Oh? Here at the park?”

“Yes, Daddy. A wasp stung me and Cesare helped me.”

“ _Cesare_? Is he Italian?”

“I don’t know. Does it matter?”

“I guess not. How old is he?”

“Nineteen.”

“A bit old for you, Little Girl. What do you think, Ginny?”

“I agree. And I don’t like that long hair of his. He did seem nice, though. Polite.”

 

_I wonder, Lucrezia thought, if Mom includes Daddy and Jeff among those ‘animals’ she talks about._

 

Cesare rejoined Mick at the music pavilion.

“Is she okay, Chez?”

“She’s physically unhurt, but she had the daylights scared out of her. Thanks for helping to rescue her from my asshole brother and his friend.”

“Not the first time we’ve had to stop those two from doing stupid shit.”

“I asked Lucrezia if she wanted to press charges, but she didn’t.”

“Pity. Would have served them right.”

“She’s afraid of how the legal system might treat her.”

“Can’t blame her. A rape victim usually gets portrayed as the Whore of Babylon.”

“Know why she went with Juan in the first place? He promised to take her to see some baby animals.”

Mick snorted in disgust.

“That lousy fuck.”

“Yep. That’s how innocent she is, and how much of a shit he is.”

“You really like this girl, Chez?”

“Yeah, I do. There’s something about her that just calls out to me.”

“She’s awfully young.”

“Maybe that’s part of it. Her youth. Her artlessness. She’s like a baby bunny herself. It makes me want to protect her.”

“Jeez, Chez. You got it bad.”

“She gave me her phone number and I’m gonna call later on and see if I can come over to her house tomorrow to meet her family properly.”

“Jumping through the hoops, eh?”

“I don’t mind. Her parents are surely going to be anxious about her because of her age, so I want to let them know my intentions are honorable.”

“Are they? Honorable?”

“Yeah.”


	2. Baby Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein occur inner dialogues, some wise, some completely full of shit

That evening, Lucrezia, in her pajamas, padded barefoot into the family room. Her broad smile answered her mother’s unspoken question, but Virginia asked it anyway.

“Did _that boy_ call you, Lucrezia?”

“Yes, Mom. He wants to come over so you and Dad can get to know him.”

“Really? Why, that’s surprising. Kind of sweet and old-fashioned.”

“I told you he was decent. I asked him over tomorrow for Sunday dinner.”

“Oh, my lord! What can I make for him?”

“Anything, Mom. I’ll help.”

 

Preston and Virginia Hamilton, along with their son Jeff, peeked through the window as Cesare pulled up and parked his car in their driveway.

“Wow,” Jeff exclaimed. “He’s got a BMW.”

“Just look at the size of him, Ginny. He’s got to be six feet one, six feet two,” Preston observed as Cesare, dressed in khaki slacks and a Michael Kors polo shirt that hugged his graceful shoulders, made his way to the front door. “He seems much too old for our Lucrezia.”

“She told me he’s nineteen, but he looks more mature than that,” Virginia fretted. “That height. That car. Still, he is very polite.”

“Will you please get away from the window before Cesare sees you gawking at him,” Lucrezia snapped. “He wants to make a good impression. And I want you to not embarrass me.”

Lucrezia yanked open the front door as Cesare’s hand was still poised to knock.

“Hi, Lucrezia,” he said with raised eyebrows and a broad grin.

“Cesare. Come in.”

He handed Virginia a charming bouquet of gerbera daisies and greeted her, his voice suave and graceful.

“Mrs. Hamilton. Thank you for letting me come to your home.”

Flustered, she nearly giggled.

“Oh, you’re very welcome. Thank you for the lovely flowers.”

“I brought you a little something, Lucrezia. I hope you like it.”

From a gift bag filled with white tissue paper, Lucrezia took out a stuffed animal, a tiny fuzzy, grey plush bunny rabbit that seemed to nestle in her hand.

“Oh, Cesare!” she exclaimed, and her eyes grew bright with tears as she hugged the bunny to her bosom. “I love it.”

 

Virginia had made her specialty dish, beef stroganoff, but with trepidation.

“Are you sure he isn’t a vegetarian, Lucrezia?” she had fussed. “Or maybe he just doesn’t eat red meat.”

“I don’t know, Mom. That’s why he’s coming over. So we can get acquainted with him.”

“Well, he probably eats red meat. As big as he is, he must eat protein. But maybe he’s lactose-intolerant. Sour cream wouldn’t be good for him. Oh, Lucrezia, when you invited him over, why didn’t you ask him about that? A good hostess thinks of these things. Will you ever learn?”

“I was thinking of other stuff, Mom.”

“Like what? Like his muscles and his handsome face?”

“Mom!”

 

Around the dinner table, set with the best china and glassware, questions flew.

“You have a BMW,” Jeff blurted. “Is it fast? Do you like it?”

“It’s very fast. After dinner, if you want, I’ll take you for a ride in it,” Cesare smiled.

“So what do you do?” Preston inquired.

“I’m about to start school again. My junior year at Hudson Hall University.”

“Ah, a college man. What’s your major?”

“Well, I’m interested in International Business. After I pick up my MBA, I’ll be working with my father in his brokerage house. I’ve been spending my summers there since I graduated from high school.”

“Oh. Of course. Borgia. Your father is…”

“Rodrigo Borgia. You’ve heard of him?”

“I think everyone has. He and his business are quite well known.”

Cesare laughed lightly.

“I hope it’s a reputation that has your approval.”

Virginia’s eyes widened to the size of her dinner plate. _He comes from money_. _Perhaps she had been hasty. Perhaps he wasn’t too old for Lucrezia after all._

_He certainly was very polite._

 

Cesare had complimented Virginia on her cooking, helped to clear the table and then joined Preston in the family room for a discussion of the likelihood of the hometown football team’s making it to the Super Bowl this season.

 

A drive in Cesare’s BMW was sufficient to buy Jeff’s approval.

“Hey, I like your new boyfriend, Sis,” he informed Lucrezia after Cesare had departed.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Lucrezia protested.

“Well, make him your boyfriend, then.”

“Jeffrey,” Virginia tutted. “Lucrezia has only just met him. It’s much too soon to be thinking about such things. Still, he is very polite.”

“Well, I’m glad you think so, Mom,” Lucrezia interjected. “We made a date to go swimming tomorrow at the lake in the park where we met.”

“You’ll be going out with him? In his car?”

“Oooo, cool!” Jeff exclaimed. “Can I come too?”

“No, Jeff. Sorry. It’ll be just Cesare and me.”

“In his car. Alone,” Virginia fretted. “You _should_ take Jeff with you.”

“Yeah, Sis. You should.”

“No!”

That night, Lucrezia kissed her stuffed bunny, whom she named “Cesare,” and slept with it cuddled in her arms.

 

Virginia answered the door to Cesare’s knock. He smiled pleasantly and pushed his sunglasses up over his forehead.

“Hi, Mrs. Hamilton. Is Lucrezia ready to go swimming?”

He wore a black tank top and black-trimmed, grey board shorts that came to mid-thigh and showcased his hard belly and narrow hips.

“Come in,” she mumbled, trying not to stare at Cesare’s undeniably beautiful physique. “I’ll let her know you’re here.”

Lucrezia, wearing flip-flops, clattered eagerly down the stairs, her joy at seeing Cesare manifest and undeniable. She snatched up the straw bag that held her towel and other swim paraphernalia and bolted for the door.

“We’ll be back by dinnertime, Mom,” she called over her shoulder. Cesare murmured a courteous farewell.

_Oh, that child, Virginia sighed. She just can’t restrain herself when it comes to **that boy**. Like a clumsy puppy. She makes herself look easy. How can he respect her when she makes her feelings so obvious?_

 

They spread a large beach blanket onto a grassy, shady spot back from the narrow sand beach and arranged their gear. Cesare tugged off his tank top and dropped it onto the blanket. Lucrezia’s eyes widened and her lips parted in frank, obvious, helpless admiration of Cesare’s long, sinewy torso. He ducked his head, gratified by her appreciation.

For his part, he was galvanized by Lucrezia’s lush softness. Her curves. Her voluptuous arms and thighs, the satin of her calves and feet, with their painted toenails. And her breasts. Her full, delectable breasts. What was she…a D cup? Oh, for sure, lusciously filling out her orange, one-piece swim suit that also completely covered but nonetheless outlined her sweet little bottom. So young. So scrumptious. Although she was petite, her body had clean, long lines, like a sculpture.

The lake was warm, almost bathtubby. Too tepid for him, but just perfect for her. Her swimming skills were rudimentary, but she was enthusiastic and splashed about merrily. He took her hand and coaxed her out into deeper water. When the level came up to her bosom, he swept her up out of the water and cradled her against his body. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. She smelled of sunshine and health, and her arms felt warm around his neck, her smooth cheek soft against the hard bone and muscle of his chest. So small. So trusting. Like a baby bunny. He tightened his grip on her and stood, shifting from one foot to the other in the silt of the lake bed, rocking her like a baby.

Emerging from the water, Cesare led Lucrezia to their beach blanket and pulled her down to sit beside him. He draped his arm around her shoulders and drew her close to him. She blushed and smiled shyly, glancing around to see if anyone was looking at them.

“Am I embarrassing you?” he asked quietly. “I don’t think anyone can see us here under the tree.”

“No, not at all. I still can’t believe that you aren’t embarrassed to be seen with me.”

_“What?”_

“You’re older. More experienced. More mature.”

“Does it bother you? The age difference?”

“Only when I’m afraid it bothers you. When I feel I don’t measure up.”

“To what?”

“To you. To your expectations.”

“How can I say this to you? You’re perfect. Just as you are.”

He bent his head and kissed her lips. Sweetly. Tenderly.

“Oh, Cesare!”

She flung her arms around his neck and crushed her mouth to his, artlessly, innocently, fervently, eagerly.

His chest swelled with pleasure.

“Lucrezia. You’re beautiful.”

He lowered her onto her back and continued to kiss her. Her soft lips parted beneath his as she pulled him down onto her body, clinging to him. His breathing quickened. Before he realized it, he had brought his hand up and cupped her breast, squeezing firmly, running his thumb over the hard bud of her nipple.

“Oh,” she whispered. “Oh, Cesare.”

_Juan. Juan grabbing her and smothering her desperate cry with his big hand over her mouth. Sneering as she kicked helplessly. Dragging her to the ground and pulling off her shorts, forcing her thighs apart. Shoving into her, ripping her, making her bleed. Alphonse taking his turn, ignoring her tears and sobs…_

_Lucrezia. His baby bunny._

Cesare froze, then shook his head and sat up, leaving Lucrezia gasping.

“What’s wrong? Why did you stop?”

“Forgive me, Lucrezia. I forgot myself.”

“But…but…”

“I treated you like some cheap slut. I, who should be protecting you. I’m no better than my brother.”

“No, Cesare. This was different. I wanted you to. I liked it.”

“Poor baby bunny. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“But I do. I do know.”

“Honey, we’re getting into territory that’s far beyond what’s appropriate for someone as young as you are. I got carried away and behaved very badly towards you. I need to restrain myself.”

“Why? Why?”

“I don’t want to frighten you. Push you into something you aren’t ready for.”

“But I think I’m ready.”

“You’re not. Lucrezia, please trust my judgment about this. I’d never do anything to harm you.”

 

Cesare was very quiet on the ride home, and Lucrezia drew into herself, wondering what she had done wrong.

Had she been too forward? Too bold?

But shouldn’t that have pleased him? That she was eager to let him do as he would? Mom said that’s what all boys wanted. So why did he stop? Why didn’t he want to go further? There must be something wrong with her.

_I’m ugly. I’m fat. That’s it. I’m fat. He doesn’t want me because I’m fat and ugly._

But then why did he make a date with her for tomorrow?

_Because he’s a gentleman. He knows I like him and he’s too nice to hurt my feelings._

 

Cesare kicked at the sheets that wound around his legs.

Restless. Unable to fall asleep. Unable to stop thinking about Lucrezia.

Her soft skin. Her enormous blue eyes gazing up at him in adoration. And be honest…her lush body. Her sweet, round ass. Her big, full boobs. What color were her nipples? Were they flat or prominent, easy to latch onto? Did she shave her pubic hair? He didn’t think so. Her swim suit had shown a cute little mound which hinted at bush. What did her virginal pussy look like? Was it deep pink, like a ripe watermelon? Was her scent clean and light, having never been filled by a man’s semen? Would she feel hot and wet and tight? Could he make her come? Would she suck him? Let him suck her? Goddam, he wanted to taste her! Finger her. Feel her legs wrap around his as he fucked her.

He groaned aloud and flexed his right hand.

_Say hello to my little friend._

Lucrezia flipped over onto her back.

Restless. Unable to fall asleep. Unable to stop thinking about Cesare.

His tanned skin. His deep green eyes gazing down at her. And be honest...his long, beautiful body. His high, tight ass. His smooth, muscular chest. His small, oval nipples and the light patch of downy fuzz over his sternum. The tempting line of silky black hair that began at his navel and disappeared down the waistband of his swim trunks. What did his dick look like? Was it big and thick? She kind of thought so, because of the way it felt when he pressed his belly against hers while they were making out on the blanket. What did he smell like “down there?” Probably clean and manly and virile. What would it feel like to have him inside her? Would he make her feel filled up? What would it be like when he came? Would he suck her? Would he let her suck him? She’d like to do that. Stroke him. Wrap her legs around his and pull him deep inside her.

She groaned aloud and flexed her right hand.

_Say hello to my little friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Say hello to my little friend": "Scarface" directed by Brian DePalma, Universal Pictures, 1983


	3. Winged Karma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein an assailant meets its doom

In the waning time of summer vacation, Cesare saw Lucrezia every day, taking her to dinner, to the movies, to local places of interest. One particularly hot day, they went to the zoo to see a baby elephant that had recently been born to an experienced mother who was ensuring that the calf thrived.

Near the entrance to the zoo, vendors were passing out free samples of a new kind of treat, a frozen fruit bar in various flavors. The zoo’s garbage cans were overflowing with syrupy fruit bar wrappers and wooden sticks, attracting legions of flies and hornets, which swarmed around the trash receptacles and buzzed at zoo visitors.

Lucrezia cringed and clung to Cesare, batting at the flying pests.

“Don’t swat at them, Bunny. Just leave them alone,” he advised gently.

“I’m scared of them, Cesare. I can’t help myself.”

“Well, we’ll just keep walking, then. They won’t follow us.”

He put his arm around her and drew her close.

Lucrezia raised her strawberry fruit bar to her mouth and then her eyes widened in panic. Something had driven a nail into her lip. Unthinking, she clawed at the object, which felt hard and strange and foreign, like a tiny steel framework. A hornet! A hornet had stung her lip. She flung the offender to the ground.

She began to cry. Cesare bent over her.

“What? What happened?”

She pointed to the insect lying stunned on the ground.

“That hornet. It stung me.”

Her lip began to swell.

Enraged, Cesare stomped on the hornet, grinding it into the dirt.

“Lousy fucker! Here, Bunny. Hold your fruit bar to your lip. It’ll help the swelling.”

He led her to a bench and crouched down in front of her, his eyes searching her blotchy face. He unwrapped his own fruit bar and pressed it to her lip, overtop the one she was already employing.

“It’s karma,” she mumbled through puffy lips. “I told my parents a lie about being stung and now I have been. Karma. Punishment for my lie.”

He shook his head.

“Oh, Bunny, no. It’s just bad timing. You and the hornet tried to eat the fruit bar at the same time. That’s all. He’ll never do that again.”

“You killed him. For me.”

“Anything or anyone who hurts you will have to contend with me.”

Her huge blue eyes swam with grateful tears. He caressed her cheek.

“When you feel up to it, let’s go see the baby elephant.”

Lucrezia’s lip deflated before they left the zoo, but it was still tender, so Cesare kissed her neck when he dropped her off at home.

At his own house, arming himself with a mallet he found in the garage, he went out and killed every hornet he could find.

 

When school resumed, their respective schedules occupied much of their time, so they were not able to see each other as often, but Cesare phoned Lucrezia every day and came to see her on Wednesdays, usually having dinner with her family and then taking her out.

“Three days is about as long as I can stand without being with you, Bunny,” he told her.

After they had been dating for a short time, he gave her a cell phone of her own, saying that he wanted to be able to reach her more easily.

“I added you onto my plan.”

Lucrezia wondered if that meant they were now a committed couple.

 

Outside Lucrezia’s house, a crew of municipal workers had dug up part of the sidewalk with jackhammers and were now constructing a wooden frame in which to pour the concrete of a new pavement section. Lucrezia, about to leave for school, gazed out the window in dismay. The men were right there, in her usual path, unavoidable.

“Mom,” she said plaintively. “I’m going out the back door.”

Virginia melted with maternal approval.

“I’m proud of you for not wanting to flaunt yourself to those men.”

_Oh, Mom, if you only knew. I’d love to flaunt myself, but they’d only laugh at me because I’m fat._

 

“Lucrezia, you’re seeing far too much of _that boy_. Are you keeping your body pure?”

“Yes, Mom. I’m keeping my body pure.”

“You know what will happen if you don’t. _That boy_ will lose all respect for you and dump you as soon as he gets what he wants from you.”

“Cesare respects me, Mom.”

“Well, you have to make sure he continues to do so by your acting respectably.”

“Mom, where did you get these ideas?”

“My own mother taught me. As her mother taught her. And that advice has always served me well.”

“Was Daddy an animal?”

“Certainly not. He behaved himself. He respected me.”

“Well, why was he different from every other guy in the world?”

“Don’t you get smart with me, young lady! He’s your father.”

“Can’t Cesare be different too?”

“He's young. Young men are girl crazy.”

“Wasn’t Daddy young too?”

“That’s enough. You heed me. I won’t steer you wrong.”

 

Cesare’s birthday approached and his mother wanted to give him a party.

“We can invite that girl you’ve been seeing. It’ll be a good opportunity for the two families to meet.”

Cesare’s brain exploded.

_His Baby Bunny in the same room with Juan._

“NO! Absolutely not. No party.”

“But why? Don’t you want us to meet? Do you think it’s too soon?”

“It’s not that. But I have my reasons. How about you and Dad have dinner with Lucrezia and me for my birthday. She should meet you.”

“Well, all right. I’ll make reservations at that new Italian restaurant I’ve been reading about.”

“Mom. Be aware. Lucrezia is young.”

“How young?”

“Young. But mature for her age.”

“Hoo-boy!”

 

Cesare picked Lucrezia up and drove to the restaurant where his parents were waiting for them.

“You look gorgeous,” he told her.

“Do you think they’ll like me?”

“Of course they will. You’re wonderful.”

She blushed with pleasure.

“I almost believe you.”

“Believe it!”

 

Rodrigo and Vannozza Borgia smiled in greeting, but above their smiles, their eyes widened in profound shock.

_She’s a child. An infant._

 Their conversation only deepened the dismay they felt.

“Where do you go to school, my dear,” Rodrigo asked, politely.

“Shad Run, Mr. Borgia.”

“Oh. That’s a…high school.”

“Yes, sir. I’m in tenth grade.”

“So you’re…what?…fifteen years old?”

Her chin came up.

“Almost sixteen.”

Pretending to cough, Cesare covered his mouth with his hand and chuckled.

 

When Cesare excused himself to go to the men’s room, his father stood.

“I’ll go with you.”

As they left the table, Vannozza bent towards Lucrezia.

“I thought it was women who were supposed to go to the bathroom in pairs.”

Lucrezia giggled.

 

“Good God, Cesare!” Rodrigo exploded. “What’s wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?”

“I told you she was young, Dad.”

“Young? That girl is just a baby. She’s going to land you in jail.”

“Not a chance. I haven’t touched her.”

“You expect me to believe that? You’ve been dating her for weeks and you haven’t screwed her?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because of what you just said. She’s a baby.”

“Well, what good is having a girlfriend you don’t sleep with?”

“I really care for her, Dad.”

“Well, isn’t that just too sweet? So what do you do for fun? Take her to Chuck E. Cheese?”

“Dad…”

“Look, Cesare, I grant you she’s pretty enough. But there are zillions of pretty girls out there, girls your own age. Girls who won’t either get you slapped in jail or leave you with a terminal case of blue balls.”

“I assure you, I’m fine.”

“Don’t tell me you’re seeing hookers on the side. God only knows what you could catch. Just find yourself a nice, mature young lady who will let you bang her all you want.”

“Is that what you do, Dad?”

“How dare you!”

“You think I don’t know about you? Everyone knows. Including Mom. I’m sure she has her reasons for looking the other way, but don’t think for a minute that you’re fooling anyone.”

“You’ve got a lot to learn, boy.”

“Nothing I care to learn from you about women, Dad. You seem to have educated Juan well enough in that regard.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know how I met Lucrezia? I was at the Nationality Festival in the park and I saw Juan lead her into the woods, so Mick and I followed them. He and his buddy Alphonse were about to rape her.”

“Oh, that’s absurd. Juan wouldn’t do any such thing.”

“No? Why wouldn’t he? Isn’t that what you brought him up to believe women are for?”

“I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding.”

“There was no misunderstanding their intent. I was there, Dad. I saw. Why do you think I won’t let him anywhere near Lucrezia?”

“Well, she wouldn’t be the first girl who tempted a boy and then got cold feet and cried ‘Rape.’”

“She didn’t…” Cesare bit off his words and closed his eyes. “Believe what you want. But I vowed from that moment that I would protect Lucrezia with my life.”

“How noble. Sir Galahad. He never got laid, either.”

Cesare sighed.

“Must it always be about sex? Lucrezia is innocent. Pure. I value that.”

 

On the way home from dinner, Cesare reached over across the console and squeezed Lucrezia’s hand.

“You were amazing, Baby Bunny.”

“Do you think your parents liked me, Cesare?”

“Of course they did. And it wouldn’t even matter if they didn’t. I like you.”

He kissed the top of her soft, blonde head.

Lucrezia alighted from Cesare’s car and asked him to come in so she could give him his birthday gift. Having arranged in advance for her family to leave them alone in the family room, she shyly handed him a rather clumsily-wrapped package. Although Lucrezia would have preferred to give him her virginity, she instead presented him with a steering wheel cover for his BMW. She had borrowed the purchase price from her father, promising him to wash the family car for a month to work off the debt.

“I really like it, Baby Bunny. The leather is beautiful.”

I’m so glad. I wanted to please you.”

“You did. And now I want you to give me another gift. I want you to be my girl.”

“What?”

“My girl. Belong to me. Only me.”

“Yes! Oh, yes!”

He slipped onto her hand a cleverly crafted ring of heavy white gold, a semicircle in the shape of a rabbit curling around her left index finger, its ears laid against its back. Its eyes were two round black diamonds.

She flung her arms around his neck.

“Oh, Cesare. I love you!”

He inhaled sharply, engulfed by the tidal wave of her affection.

“Um…me too, Baby Bunny. I…um…I love you too.”

"Now that I'm your girlfriend, do you think it's okay for us to...you know?"

"Have sex?"

"Make love."

"No.  Not yet."

“Cesare, have you had sex before?”

“Yes.”

“Since you met me?”

“No.”

“Really? Not since then? Why not?”

“Because I’m not interested in anyone but you.”

“Would you like to have sex with me?”

“Oh, yeah. In a heartbeat. But only with you.”

“You amaze me. You’re not at all like my mom says guys are.”

“What am I supposed to be like? A hound dog?”

“Well, yes.”

“Like I’ll stick it just anywhere?”

“That’s vulgar, but yes. That’s what Mom told me.”

“Sorry to contradict what she said, but I’m not like that. Some guys are, I guess, and some girls are, too. But everyone’s different. I hope you’re able to trust me and to judge me on who I actually am, not on what someone else says I am."

“Cesare, are you really mine? All mine?”

“Yours and only yours.”

“You don’t mind not having sex?”

“Hell yeah, I mind. But I’d rather wait until you’re ready than go screwing around with someone who means nothing to me.”

“I’m scared that you’ll get fed up and dump me if we don’t have sex.”

“Look, I knew when I started to date you that you wouldn’t be ready for sex for some time. I’m prepared to wait.”

“But, Cesare, I think I’m ready now.”

“You’re not. You’re still my baby bunny. Pure. Innocent.”

“Well, how will we know when I’m ready?”

“We’ll know.”


	4. Eden And Apple Cider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Mick behaves like a clod among clods

Autumn came early that year. A hard frost put a decisive end to late-blooming tomato gardens, and caused russet and gold leaves to drop from the deciduous trees. Lucrezia gazed wistfully through her bedroom window at the browned-out grass of the front lawn and the stark, bare branches of the maple tree near the driveway.

“I hate this time of year,” she told Cesare over the phone. “Everything is dying. It’s so sad.”

“Look at it like this, Bunny: the earth is taking a nice, long nap. Recharging itself. Next spring, it will come back stronger than ever because it had a good rest.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet. That makes me feel better.”

“I’m glad. And remember this too: because it’s chilly, we’ll have to snuggle up tight to keep cozy.”

She smiled then, a rush of warmth surging through her body as she thought of Cesare holding her close to him.

“Don’t forget,” he continued, “I’m coming up on semester break at the end of this week, so I’ll be able to spend more time with you. I can’t wait.”

“Me neither. Just think, Cesare. Our first holiday season together.”

“You’ll have to give me some ideas about what you want for your present.”

“You know what I want, Cesare.”

He sighed loudly into the phone.

“Bunny, we’ve been through this over and over again. The time just isn’t right. You’re not ready."

“But, Cesare…”

“Okay, I’ll make it short and bitter. You’re fifteen. Underage. I lay one hand on you, I go to jail for unlawful sex with a minor. Do you want that?”

“No, of course not. But who’s to know but you and me?”

“Bunny, what’s really the matter here? Do you need me to tell you this again? I love you. I’m very happy with you. You’re my girl.”

“You still want me?”

“Always. You’re the only one I want.”

Cesare heard a sniffle at the other end of the line and his heart melted.

“Don’t cry, Lucrezia.”

“I’m so scared of losing you.”

“You won’t. I’m yours for good. Bunny, you’re _so_ worth waiting for. Really.”

“But, Cesare, I love you so much. It’s hard for me to wait.”

“Look, it’s tougher on me. I _know_ what I’m missing. But I’m willing to make that sacrifice for you, for us.”

“Thank you.” Lucrezia’s voice was tiny.

“So, come on, Baby Bunny. I’ll call you again tomorrow. Don’t forget that on Friday night, we have plans to go with friends to a farm for a hay ride and then spend the evening afterwards at the farmhouse in front of a fireplace with hot apple cider.”

“And Mick will be bringing applejack.”

“I won’t drink any. Not when I’m driving with you.”

“Promise me you won’t drink any time you’re driving.”

“Well, I really don’t do that much boozing, Bunny. Honest.”

“That’s not promising what I asked you, Cesare.”

“All right, all right, I promise. No drinking and driving.”

 

After Lucrezia hung up the phone, she went back to look out the window and smiled at a squirrel scampering up a tree. How cute! Pretty soon the squirrel would be getting ready for a nice long nap, just like the earth was. Cesare always knew what to say or do to cheer her up. Except for that one thing…

What to make of it? According to her mother, and just about every other source of wisdom she had ever heard, Cesare should be pressuring her for sex, and yet it was the other way around. Why? There was obviously nothing wrong with him. He had sexual experience, so he knew what he was doing. It must be she who was the problem, just as she feared. Ugly. Unattractive. Unappealing. But he always told her he loved her. Told her he belonged to her. Called her every day and spent as much time with her as he could. Introduced her to his parents. Introduced her to his friends. These weren’t the actions of someone who didn’t care for her.

_I’m so confused._

 

On Friday evening, the air was crisp and chilly and bracing. Cesare helped Lucrezia into the long, open farm wagon stacked with fragrant bales of hay. Handsome in his red and black plaid jacket, he pulled her close. She was dressed in a heavy sweater and knit gloves, but her cheeks and nose were reddened from cold. The three other couples who accompanied them, including Mick and his date, Charlotte Albert, piled onto the hay bales, chatting excitedly. Mick sat down next to Cesare. Charlotte pouted her pretty mouth as she settled in beside him.

“You might have helped me into the wagon, Mick.”

He shrugged.

“Your legs aren’t broken.”

“Cesare was a gentleman and took care of Lucrezia.”

“Well, excuse the fuck outa me.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes and sighed. Lucrezia squeezed Cesare’s hand. He brought her gloved fingers to his lips and kissed them.

The farmer who was hosting the hayride coaxed his tractor, coughing diesel fumes, to reluctant life and pulled the wagon out onto the field where nothing remained of his corn crop but stubble and bare clods of dirt.

The wagon trundled across the harvested fields for some time, its occupants laughing at being jostled and tossed around by the bumpy terrain. They cried out in surprise as they approached an unexpected delight—a big bonfire which blazed and crackled under the moonlight. Around the circle of piled-up branches, previously arrived revelers were sitting on logs and quaffing drinks, singing and shouting a welcome to the newcomers. Mick hopped down from the wagon and loped over to a metal tub filled with ice and cans of beer. Cesare extended his hand up to Charlotte and helped her to alight.

“Thank you, Cesare,” she sighed. “I’m glad to know there are still a few gentlemen left in the world.”

Cesare smiled awkwardly, unable to excuse his friend’s inexcusable behavior toward his date. He reached up and put his hands around Lucrezia’s waist, lifting her down onto the ground.

“Cesare,” she whispered. “It’s so beautiful. The cool night, and the moon and the stars and the bonfire. It makes me want to dance.”

“Like a little wood nymph.”

She caught his hands in hers and tugged him towards the perimeter of the bonfire, swinging him around in a circle, giggling and singing “Ring Around The Rosie.”

The light and warmth of the bonfire caressed her face, gilding it. The moon, huge and nearly full in the cloudless night sky, reflected in Lucrezia’s sparkling eyes as she gazed up at Cesare. He stopped in his tracks, rendered dumb and breathless by the glorious, radiant beauty of the girl beside him. Her cheeks were rosy from the cool night air and her blonde braid, peeking out from under her grey knit cap, gleamed with a silver sheen of lunar light. It was her lips which most arrested him, though, crimson as a pomegranate, full and parted. He caught her face between his hands and kissed her red mouth, drinking deeply of its sweetness. So prolonged and impassioned was their embrace that a few of the revelers, jovial with drink, shouted, “Get a room!” Although their banter was lighthearted, they inwardly envied the young couple their ardor.

Cesare raised his head and grinned at them, then took Lucrezia by the hand and led her away from the light of the bonfire.

Picking their way carefully over the rutted surface of the plowed earth, they wandered across the field until the voices of their companions were inaudible. Cesare stopped and caught Lucrezia in his arms, bending his head down to her, burrowing his face into the warm curve of her throat. She pressed her body to his, embracing him. He brought his mouth to hers, to the soft, red lips that parted beneath his kiss. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, licking, exploring.

“Lucrezia,” he whispered hoarsely. “I love you.”

He slid his hands under her sweater, over her satiny skin. She was so beautiful! He wanted her so much.

“Let me, my baby. Let me.”

“You don’t need to ask,” she murmured against his lips.

Her breasts were heavy, filling his palms with their weight. He stroked and squeezed them, then burrowed the trembling fingers of his right hand beneath the fabric of her bra cup, seeking her nipple. It was not difficult to find, because desire for his touch had hardened it, causing it to stand out.

“Oh, Lucrezia,” he groaned, dropping his hand to her backside, firm and rounded in tight black leggings. He pulled her belly to his, galvanized by the sensation of her squirming closer to better feel his hard cock against her pudenda.

She rubbed her fingers over the front of his denims, and he covered her hand with his, encouraging her. Her mouth opened with her rapid breathing, and he kissed her again, gently biting her swelling lower lip. She fumbled with the zipper of his jeans and slipped her hand inside, and through the opening of his boxer briefs. The feel of his pubic hair startled her, for it was thick and wiry and completely unexpected. His cock, held down by his underwear, practically jumped into her hand when her fingers encountered it and closed around it. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with it, but he seemed to like it when she extracted it from his clothes and began to massage it rhythmically.

Her head spun. She was holding the very essence of her beloved Cesare right in her hand. He was letting her do that. Nervous, unsure, but emboldened, she dropped to her knees in front of him. His eyes widened and he gripped her shoulders.

“Oh, Lucrezia!”

She let the tip of his cock brush across her lips. His appreciative moan reassured her. She opened her mouth and slid it down the velvet skin of his shaft. He gently gripped her head and guided her into a push and pull motion along his entire length.

_Like a reciprocating saw, she thought, and nearly giggled._

“Cesare! Hey, Cesare!”

Mick! Approaching.

Cesare cursed furiously.

His cock went limp. Shivering, he tucked it back into his pants and gently pulled Lucrezia to her feet.

“Wait here, Bunny. I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” he snapped, and whirled around, stalking off to confront his inconsiderate friend.

Lucrezia could just make out the voices of the two young men. Cesare sounded livid, quaking with anger.

“What the fuck do you want, Mick? What was so goddam important that you had to follow us?”

“Sorry, Chez. Did I interrupt something?”

“Didn’t it occur to you that I wanted to be alone with Lucrezia?”

“Jeez, man, I’m sorry. I just came to tell you that we’re heading back to the farmhouse pretty soon, and I didn’t want you to be stranded out here without a ride back.”

Cesare felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. How could he have gotten mad at Mick, who was only trying to be helpful? Mick, the best friend a guy could ever have.

“Hey, I’m sorry, Bro. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like I did.”

“I feel stupid, Chez. I guess I arrived at a really bad time.”

“Actually, Mick, I think you were heaven-sent. A sign from God. I got a little carried away and you stopped me from doing something I had no business doing.”

“Um…were you and Lucrezia...?”

“I had promised myself that I’d wait for her to mature a bit more. She’s still underage, you know. But she looked so hot and beautiful tonight that I…well, you saved me from making a big mistake.”

“This might be the first time ever that a guy thanked someone for keeping him from getting laid.”

Cesare snorted and gave Mick a playful shove.

 

The cup of warm, spiced apple cider which Lucrezia held up to Cesare was not nearly so sweet as were her lips. Having enjoyed the hay ride, they were now curled up close to each other on a sofa in front of a fragrant, comforting blaze in the farmhouse’s enormous stone fireplace. True to his promise, he was drinking only cider, even though Mick sought to tempt him with applejack.

“I can’t, Mick. I have to stay sober to drive Lucrezia home.”

“She’s got you whipped, my man.”

“Not whipped. Sensible. It’s reckless to drive drunk.”

From her nest in Cesare’s arms, Lucrezia smiled complacently.

_Maybe he did love her._

 

Mick had stepped outside for a cigarette and Lucrezia excused herself to go to the ladies’ room. Charlotte sat down close beside Cesare on the sofa. Her eyes were bold, challenging.

“How long have you been dating Lucrezia, Cesare?”

“A couple of months.”

“You like her?”

“Yes. Obviously.”

“And you’re happy?”

“I have no complaints.”

“No? That’s a surprise. Cesare, you’re a man. You need a woman. She’s just a little girl. I could make you happy. In bed.”

“Thanks but no thanks. I have Lucrezia. I don’t want anyone else.”

She shoved a scrap of paper into his shirt pocket.

“Here’s my phone number. Call me up when you get bored with your plaything. I’ll be waiting.”

She tossed her long, brunette hair, stood and went to join the rest of the group.

Cesare snorted in contempt.

_Bimbo. Slut._

 

When Lucrezia got into Cesare’s car to go home, she leaned over the console to him and kissed him, letting her hand drop into his crotch.

“I want to finish what we started, Cesare.”

“Baby Bunny, we can’t. We shouldn’t have gone that far in the first place. It was a mistake. You were so beautiful that I couldn’t resist you.”

“So don’t. Don’t resist.”

She kissed him again, and his lips clung to hers for a moment before he gently pushed her away. He caught her hand in his and removed it from his aching groin.

“Bunny…no. Please stop. Really. Stop.”

She pouted.

“You said you love me.”

“Oh, honey. I do. I do love you. Enough to want what’s best for you. We have to wait.”

She began to cry, big, angry, disappointed tears.

“They call it blue balls when a guy is frustrated. Do they have a term for a girl?”

“Aw, Bunny. Don’t cry. I promise to make it up to you. When the time is right.”

“When will that be?”

“Soon. Honestly. I want it too.”

She sighed, resigned to her fate. She was not to have him tonight.

 

When Cesare was sure that Lucrezia was safely inside her house, he backed out of her driveway and began the trip home.

He let out a long breath.

_Damn, that was close!_

Had Mick not come along when he did, it could have been a disaster. He could have found himself in a situation with Lucrezia that was completely out of control. She was simply too young. A baby bunny. But, damn, she was eager. And a fast learner. Her mouth on him felt like the mouth of Eden. Oh, God! He’d have to be more careful. A lot more careful. The longer he went without sex, the more difficult it was becoming to abstain from it. Especially when Lucrezia was so desirable and so eager and so available. Well, she was just too young, and there it was. A toddler may want to play with matches, but it couldn’t be permitted, could it? A child simply didn’t understand the dangers. Discipline. He must be disciplined. Avoid situations like tonight when it was just too tempting. Goddam, it was getting tiresome romancing his own hand night after night. Twenty years old, with a woman in his life, and…no, not a woman. A girl. A child.

But a child he loved.

Shit! What a quandary!

 

When Cesare was undressing in his bedroom, he heard the crackle of paper as he unbuttoned his shirt. Dammit! Charlotte’s phone number. He extracted the note from his pocket and crumpled it, then threw it at the wastebasket, sinking it like a three-point shot. He showered quickly and brushed his teeth, pulled on pajama bottoms, then got into bed. After a minute or two of restless pillow punching, he got out of bed, walked over to the wastebasket and retrieved the paper, shoving it into the back of his sock drawer.

 

_Why did I do that?_

_I don’t know._


	5. Christmas Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein are disclosed secrets

Clad only in her underwear, Lucrezia stood in her bedroom in front of a full-length mirror in its oval wood frame.

_Oh, God, I’m hopeless! Fat. Lumpy. Too short. Top heavy. Look at these boobs. Other girls have cute, perky, firm little breasts that fit into saucy, sexy bras, or even look great with no bras at all. I have to wear horse harnesses. Ship’s riggings. Go braless? Ha! That’s a laugh. I’d look grotesque. Like a cow. And don’t even talk about stretch marks. My fat ass. My fat thighs. I’m dumpy. No wonder Cesare doesn’t want to make love to me. Who could blame him?_

 

Cesare sprawled across his bed, trying to focus on his textbook, but could not banish from his mind the image of Lucrezia at the bonfire, her full, red lips, her sparkling eyes, her gleaming hair. And her breasts. Oh, God! Those luscious globes, big and heavy in his hands, succulent as ripe melons. The nipple that jumped to attention under his touch, prominent, hard. How it would feel in his mouth, how easy it would be to latch onto and suck and suck and suck. Cupping her ass with his hand was like grasping the behind of a marble Aphrodite. Round and curved and womanly. He knew she had never in her life handled a man’s dick, yet she took hold of his with a surety and confidence that was almost preternatural. Not the least bit reluctant to take him into her mouth, no hesitation, no reticence.

But that didn’t change the fact that she was still underage, still an inappropriate object of his desire. She kept asking him for sex, but surely only because she was pathologically scared of losing him if she didn’t “put out.” He would just have to keep reassuring her of his love. And that waiting for sex was fine with him.

_Well, it was, wasn’t it?_

 

Cesare ducked into the adult bookstore. Good. Nobody had seen him enter. He nervously walked up to the counter and asked to be directed to the DVDs.

_A guy has to have something, no?_

 

Sixteen-year-old Giulia Farnese, surpassingly beautiful with long, silken hair and the elegant figure of a Vogue model, carried her lunch tray over to the Shad Run High cafeteria table where four of her friends were already gathered, their heads close together, gossiping and giggling. As she made her way, she ignored the low-pitched remarks and swiveling heads of the boys she passed by. She was used to and bored by such attention.

“Look over there. There’s Lucrezia Hamilton. Did you see her get out of her boyfriend’s car this morning in front of school?” Madison Miller hissed. “Fucking showoff! A college man with a Beamer. Humph! I could have a boyfriend like that too, if I were willing to be the slut that she is.”

Giulia sighed.

“Be fair, Maddy. How do you know she’s a slut? There isn’t one boy in Shad Run who can begin to claim that he even went out with her.”

“Of course not. She’s too damn good for Shad Run boys. Too high and mighty. She demands older men.”

“That’s right,” Sarah Arbogast concurred. “My cousin who lives across town says he saw Lucrezia in a car at his neighborhood drive-in, making out with a guy who looked to be about twenty five.”

“Lucrezia?” Giulia scoffed. “Your cousin was sure it was Lucrezia he saw? In the dark? Inside a dark car?”

“Well, if it wasn’t her, it was someone who looked just like her. But it was probably her.”

“You shouldn’t say such things unless you’re sure, Sarah. Lucrezia is really a nice person. Have you ever talked to her?”

“Well, I haven’t,” Lizzie Crawford sniffed. “She's always so aloof. Stuck up.”

“Maybe she’s just shy. Have you ever thought of that?” Giulia admonished, pulling open her carton of milk.

“Shy? You don’t get a boyfriend like hers by being shy. You know he’s only with her for one reason,” Lizzie snapped back.

“No, you’re wrong,” Maddy interjected. “He wants her for two reasons. Two _big_ reasons.”

The girls burst into loud, snarky laughter. Giulia stood and picked up her tray.

“You’re being a bunch of assholes,” she said, and she walked across the cafeteria to where Lucrezia was sitting alone, picking absently at a salad.

“Hi. Is this seat taken?” Giulia asked pleasantly.

Startled, Lucrezia jerked her head up, her eyes wide and almost panicked.

“Um…no.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Oh, um…sure. If you want to.”

“Thanks. I wanted to ask you about the paper you wrote for English class. You got an A on it. Could we talk about it?”

“Me? You want to talk to me?”

Giulia slid into the chair across the table from Lucrezia.

“I really liked your vocabulary choices in your paper. I’m having some trouble finding the right words for a composition I’m preparing. Do you suppose you could help me?”

“Um…sure!”

 

Virginia was thrilled when Lucrezia began spending time after school with Giulia, often bringing her home to study together.

“Maybe it’ll take her mind off of _that boy,”_ she told her husband. When she saw how gobsmacked Preston and Jeff were by Giulia’s astounding beauty, she was not so pleased any longer.

 

Virginia’s sister Marie came from Chicago for a short stay over Christmas. Relations between the sisters had been occasionally testy, but Lucrezia had always liked her aunt and enjoyed her company. She was pleased that Aunt Marie would be sharing her room, sleeping on a rollaway bed. Cesare came for dinner one evening, and the family then gathered together, chatting and playing word games.

In a display of needling that Lucrezia thought uncharacteristic of him, Preston teased Marie about being unmarried.

“Still haven’t found yourself a man, huh, Marie?” he chortled gleefully.

“No, Pret, I haven’t. I guess there just isn’t another one like you.”

Preston’s jibes continued for some time until Cesare, seeing that Marie was losing patience, offered to take her for a ride to look at the displays of Christmas lights adorning the houses in the neighborhood.

“Want to come along, Jeff?” Cesare asked, but the boy had run for his coat even before the invitation was completely spoken.

A conspicuous lack of snow detracted from the holiday charm of the evening, but the occupants of Cesare’s car brought their own cheer, being grateful to get away from the gathering tension that Preston had brought about.

After their tour had shown them houses decorated in masterpieces of taste both good and bad, the travelers stopped for hot drinks at a coffee house where they spent a quiet, relaxed hour together.

When Cesare took his leave for the night, he swept Lucrezia into his arms on the doorstep and kissed her long and deeply.

Marie could see his lips move, as he whispered to Lucrezia, “I love you.”

Lucrezia hoped to have Marie’s approval of Cesare.

“I have to say, honey, you’ve got yourself quite a fine young man,” Aunt Marie declared when she emerged from the shower to ready herself for bed.

“He’s wonderful, Aunt Marie. I love him so much.”

“I can see he cares for you too.”

“Really? You mean that?”

“I sure do. He has that look in his eye. He’s smitten.”

“Thanks for saying that, Aunt Marie. I still can’t believe he could want someone like me.”

“What do you mean by that, honey? ‘Someone like you?’”

“Well, I’m so ordinary. I’m…ugly.”

Marie sighed.

“Lucrezia, I could tell you that you’re beautiful. That you have beautiful skin and hair and eyes. That your body is curvy and your boobs are the kind that inspire men to write poetry. That you’re smart and fascinating and funny and loving and affectionate and sweet. But none of that would mean anything to you since you seem to be unable to believe it of yourself. I wonder why.”

“I just can’t feel that I’m anything special.”

“You are an extraordinary young woman. Why does Cesare call you ‘Baby Bunny?’”

“Oh, well, he knows I love baby animals. He says I remind him of a baby bunny. Little, trusting. He says I make him want to protect me.”

“And you still aren’t sure he cares for you?”

“Aunt Marie, will you answer a question for me? A question about…about…”

“Sex?”

“Yeah. Mom is always telling me that all guys want is sex. All they think about is sex. But Cesare isn’t like that.”

“What is he like?”

“Aunt Marie, I’ve been dating him since August, and we haven’t had sex! Why not, unless it’s that I’m ugly?”

“I take it that you’d like to sleep with him.”

“God, yes! Mom acts like girls don’t have any desires of their own and that they’re supposed to defend their virtue from boys. But I’m the one who wants sex and Cesare is the one who’s telling me we have to wait. What’s wrong with me, Aunt Marie?”

“Nothing, Lucrezia. Nothing at all. I think Cesare is very aware that you’re only fifteen and is being sensible about things. He loves you, honey. I can see that. I’m sure it’s difficult for him to wait, but he’s wise to do so.”

“But why would Mom tell me the things she did? About guys being animals and girls having to shut them down or else the guys will lose all respect for them and dump them.”

Aunt Marie sighed.

“Your mother and I have had our differences over the years, but we’re still sisters. Still blood. What I tell you now doesn’t give me pleasure to relate, but I can see you’re confused and beating yourself up over things she told you. About boys and girls. About chastity and virtue. Believe me when I tell you that your mother, my beloved sister, is a fucking hypocrite.”

“Aunt Marie!”

Lucrezia sank down onto her vanity chair, her mouth open in astonishment.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know this is hard to hear. But your mother, that paragon of purity, was an absolute tramp in her younger years. She had the worst reputation in Chicago, and she deserved it. She was seventeen or eighteen and would often disappear for days. Our parents would be frantic, report her as missing to the police. She was always shacked up somewhere with an older man. She told me she liked older men. They were more experienced. She was damn lucky she didn’t get pregnant or wind up with an STD.”

“Aunt Marie, I had no idea. All this time, she’s been telling me…”

“I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she probably wanted to spare you from making the mistakes she made.”

“She told me my dad was in the Navy when they met.”

“He was stationed at Great Lakes Training Center. He and your mom met in a bar and hit it off. They dated for a few months and when his enlistment was up, they got married and moved here, your dad’s home town. So far as I know, your mom settled down and has been a respectable wife and mother ever since, but don’t think for a minute that they waited until the wedding night.”

“She made me feel like a whore for having sexual thoughts. She would tell me that guys would want sex from me, and I would think to myself, ‘Well, I sure hope so.’”

Marie smiled.

“I don’t want to tarnish your opinion of your mother, but I can’t just let you go on thinking there’s something wrong with you. Now, don’t misunderstand me. Men like sex. But so do women. And when the time comes for you and Cesare, I doubt sincerely that he will ‘lose respect’ for you. It’ll just bring you two closer together.”

“When will the time be right, Aunt Marie?”

“I think it’s different for every person. Some people seem to never be ready. Given how crazy you are about Cesare, I’d say that you’re raring to go now. But legally, you’re not of the age of consent. That frankly has to be a consideration, like it or not. Once you turn sixteen, it will be different. Then it will come down to Cesare being ready for you.”

“What?”

“I have a feeling that you’re going to be a real handful, sweetie. A lot more woman than he may be used to. He’s going to have to catch up to you, I think.”

Lucrezia blushed.

“Aunt Marie…”

“Sex is a gift. Be proud of yourself that you have the capacity to appreciate it. When the time is right, you and Cesare can go to each other with the same openness and innocence and purity as Adam and Eve. It’s a beautiful thing.

Lucrezia went to her aunt and hugged her.

“You’re the best, Aunt Marie. Thanks.”

“Anytime, sweetie.”

“But why was Daddy being so nasty to you? Needling you about your being single?”

“For some reason, it seems to offend him that I’m not married. I really don’t know why.”

“I remember him liking to tease you, but it was always playful. Tonight, there was a real edge to it.”

“Yeah. I don’t know where that came from. It was very gallant of your Cesare to step in. He’s quite a guy.”

Lucrezia smiled.

“He’s my hero, Aunt Marie.”

 

Lucrezia struggled awake, discombobulated and confused. Loud voices down the hall had startled her. Were the voices coming from her parents’ room? She quietly slipped out of bed and tiptoed down the hall, stopping outside her parents’ closed door.

“Preston, I’m tired of it. Tired of how you act around my sister.”

“What, Ginny? I was only teasing her. Why are you getting so riled up?”

“I know damn well how you feel about her. You always have. Why didn’t you marry her instead of me?”

“Ginny! You’re wrong. I swear, I just like to kid with her.”

“You behaved like a little boy who has a crush on a classmate and pulls her pigtail to get her attention. It has to stop, Preston. I mean it.”

“Ginny…”

Shocked, Lucrezia covered her mouth with her hand and made her silent way back to bed.


	6. Occasions Of Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein human frailty incites sin

_Mom lied to me. All this time, she wrapped herself in a cloak of virtue, and she lied through her teeth. It’s not her past that angers me. It’s that she lied about it. What else has she lied about? She lied about Daddy. Made him sound like some kind of gelding. ‘Decent’, she said. ‘Decent,’ meaning ‘sexless,’ by her definition. And he obviously isn’t sexless. Does that make him ‘indecent?’ I don’t know. I don’t know about the two of them, but I do know this: from now on, I will make up my own mind about such things. Listen to my own inner wisdom. And to my Aunt Marie. She understands how I feel about Cesare. I guess she’s right about the age thing, so he and I should wait. But I want him to know that I love his manhood, and I’m ready for him whenever he thinks it’s time. I’ll be sixteen in a few months. Surely we won’t wait any longer after that._

 

Knowing Lucrezia’s insecurity about their celibate relationship, Cesare made great effort to reassure her of his affection. He always stayed close to her when they were out among friends, making a prominent show of holding her hand, kissing her, seeing to her comfort. The young ladies in their circle envied Lucrezia.

“Do you see how devoted to her he is?” one of them murmured to another, watching Cesare as he fetched Lucrezia a hot drink at their favorite coffee shop and then leaned in to kiss her throat. “Just imagine the kind of sex he’s giving her.”

“Lucky her. She probably doesn’t even realize how exceptional he is.”

“I bet if she didn’t have those boobs, he would never even have noticed her.”

“Do you think they’re real?”

“Well, real enough for him, anyway.”

 

“Charlotte doesn’t want to go out with me anymore, Chez,” Mick confided ruefully as, sitting on the edge of Cesare’s bed, he flipped a football back and forth between his hands.

“I can’t say I blame her, Mick. You were a real clod to her. An ass.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“Nothing. That’s just it. You did nothing. Treated her like she was one of the guys.”

“How?”

“Well, for instance, that one night when we went on the hayride. Rushing away to go grab a beer. Abandoning her. Not helping her into and out of the wagon.”

“Why would she need my help? She’s perfectly capable of doing that herself.”

“But she’s a girl, numbnuts. Girls like to be fussed over.”

“Like your Lucrezia? You don’t let her do a goddam thing for herself. Open doors for her, pull out her chair in restaurants, help her out of the car. Pussy whipped. That’s what you are.”

“Notice that she hasn’t dumped me the way Charlotte dumped you.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m all that sorry about Charlotte. I didn’t much care for her anyway, but one thing I will miss. She was great in the sack.”

“Oh? Really?”

 

Cesare had to stop kissing Lucrezia and come up for air.

She sat pressed up against him in the back seat of his car, her breasts heaving with her accelerated breathing, her crimson lips parted and glistening.

“Cesare,” she whispered. “I love you. I want you so much. Can’t we do it now? My birthday is next month. Surely that’s close enough.”

In the dark, tree lined lover’s lane, Lucrezia’s eyes glowed like a feral cat’s. Her body radiated heat. Cesare wanted to burrow his nose between her legs and inhale the scent of her pussy, knowing that it was slick and wet and quivering for him. His groin, straining the front of his trousers, burned, throbbed, ached.

His voice was hoarse and edgy.

“We can’t, Bunny. Not till you’re sixteen. We’d better stop this and leave right now, actually. I don’t think I’ll be able to resist you much longer.”

She rubbed her mouth against his, running her tongue over his lips, winding her arms around his neck.

“Don’t. Don’t resist. I want you, Cesare. Now. This minute.”

“You’re killing me, Bunny.”

He disengaged her arms and gently pushed her away.

“It was your idea to come here, Cesare. What did you think would happen?”

“I don’t know. I guess I hoped we could let off a little steam.”

“Well, all we’ve done is build up a lot more.”

“Yeah, you’re right. This was a mistake. I’d better take you home.”

“But, Cesare, we really don’t have to stop. I’m so ready.”

“You’re not, Lucrezia. Trust me. You’re not.”

Lucrezia pouted the whole way home, and Cesare cursed himself for an idiot. He should have never taken her to the lover’s lane. He should have known it would only arouse them further and frustrate them more.

His dick hurt. His balls hurt. He needed ease.

He went into his bathroom, intent on taking a shower and going to bed.

Shit! Another date with Rosy Palm and her five sisters.

_This isn’t happening. I’m not really doing this. I’m watching myself in a movie. I’m not actually fishing that scrap of paper out of my sock drawer. I’m not dialing the phone number._

“Hello?”

“Hi. Charlotte?”


	7. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Lucrezia comes of age

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “O, my offense is rank, it smells to heaven”
> 
> William Shakespeare, Hamlet Act 3, scene 3, 36

“I’m telling you this up front, Charlotte. I love Lucrezia. I’ll never leave her.”

_“Then why are you here with me, Cesare?”_

“Lucrezia is still underage, so I haven’t been able to have sex with her yet. I’m horny. I need a fuck. That’s all. If you’re looking for more from me, you’re sadly mistaken.”

_“Well, at least you’re honest.”_

“By the way, you are of legal age, aren’t you?”

_“And then some.”_

“Good. This is just about sex, Charlotte. Temporary sex. You understand that?”

_“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”_

 

The days began to lengthen and, one Sunday in March, the temperature rose to an unexpected 70 degrees. Lucrezia asked Cesare to take a stroll with her through the park where they had first met. As they walked the path that circled the lake, he picked her up and swung her around, causing her to giggle merrily. He set her down and, slipping his finger under her chin to raise her face, kissed her hungrily.

“I love you, Baby Bunny,” he whispered to her.

She flung her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his chest.

“I love you, Cesare. Only two weeks, and I’ll be sixteen. I’ve been counting the days. Have you?”

“Of course, Bunny.”

“I want so much to make love with you. It’s been so difficult, waiting.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“I want to please you. Will you teach me how?”

“You please me in everything you do.”

“I just know that making love will bring us so close. Cesare, thank you for waiting for me. I’m so sorry you had to suffer through this for me.”

“You’re worth it, Bunny. You’re the only girl for me.”

 

_What a fucking liar I am! If Lucrezia only knew, she’d be so hurt. But what can I do? I’m only human. I have needs. I mean, I’d love to sleep with her, but she’s just a child. It would be completely wrong to ask her for sex right now. But I can’t just keep humping my fist night after night. As soon as she’s grown up enough, I’ll end it with Charlotte. She means nothing to me. She’s just a fuck. I feel awful about myself when I’m with her. So dirty. Lucrezia is pure. Innocent. Sacred. I can’t even think about polluting her with my filth. I don’t deserve her. But I love her so much._

 

 Charlotte.

_Oh, hi, Cesare._

How about I come over tonight?

_You want to get laid again? Is that why you’re calling me?_

Yeah.

_Cesare, it’s late. I’m tired. Why didn’t you come over earlier?_

I was with Lucrezia.

_So I get the dregs of you?_

What do you expect? I told you how it was gonna be with us.

_Cesare, you’re a lousy fuck. You make no effort with me at all._

So what?

_You never give me oral, but you expect it from me._

So don’t do it. I don’t give a shit.

_I should never have broken up with Mick. He was much better in bed than you are. His dick was bigger too._

So go back to him. Think I care?

_Then why do you come see me?_

I told you. I need a piece of ass now and then.

_That’s all I am to you?_

Yeah. All you’ll ever be.

_You can’t treat me like that. I don’t want to see you anymore._

Fine. Goodbye.

_Cesare…_

Yeah?

_You still want to come on over?_

Yeah.

 

As Lucrezia got into bed that night, she allowed herself to think about what might be in store for her on her birthday. What would Cesare be planning for them? She just knew it would be romantic and wonderful. He would sweep her off her feet. Maybe it was a good thing after all that they had had to delay the consummation of their love. They had become so close over these past months. She now felt confident in his love for her. How strong he had been, how noble in his fidelity to her! Their lovemaking would be epic. Olympian.

She hugged her stuffed bunny to her bosom and fell asleep with a smile on her lips.

 

Which felt worse? Cesare wondered, as he tossed around in bed. Wanking off or fucking Charlotte? He despised himself for either, but…definitely Charlotte. She was worse. At least he didn’t have to listen to her yapping when he gratified himself.

Lucrezia’s sixteenth birthday was approaching. Oh, God! She was fully expecting him to claim her virginity on that day. He wasn’t sure he would even be able to perform with her, so guilty did he feel about his dalliance. Why did he do it? He really didn’t know. It had started out as desperation, but then it became a vicious cycle. He felt guilty. The guiltier he felt, the more he was compelled to consort with Charlotte.

Whenever he was with Lucrezia, she would gaze up at him with her enormous blue eyes, innocent, trusting, brimming with love for him. He wanted to die. She was so beautiful. He loved her so much. He didn’t even deserve to look at her, let alone make love to her. He was so foul, so polluted. How had this happened? Where would it lead? He should let her go, let her find someone worthy of her. Could he do that? Give her up? No. He couldn’t. Never.

 

Surely, Lucrezia thought, it was karma that her birthday fell on a Saturday so that she and Cesare could be together all day. She quivered with excitement. Her birthday had finally arrived. She was sixteen at last. She knew, she just knew, that Cesare had planned some outrageously romantic rendezvous for the two of them. Maybe a motel room filled with flowers. Rose petals on the bed. Although she was bursting to ask, she kept silent, unwilling to ruin his surprise for her.

She showered and applied scented body lotion, then dressed in black lace lingerie she had bought especially for the occasion. She chose a short knit skirt and light sweater, calculating that they would be easy to remove.

Cesare, handsome in close-fitting chinos and a striped pullover, picked her up late in the morning and took her for brunch.

“I thought you might like to go and pick up some plants at the greenhouse in the next county over. You know, to start a garden in your yard. Grow some bunny food. Your mom had mentioned how she liked to use fresh herbs and stuff in cooking.”

Lucrezia reached over and placed her hand on Cesare’s thigh.

“What a wonderful thought. A long drive in the country. Fresh air. How stimulating!”

“Um…yeah. Stimulating.”

She kept her hand on his thigh as they drove, smiling sweetly at him whenever he glanced over at her.

She was bursting with excitement, bursting to know what he had planned. He seemed determined to keep it a secret. Silent. Aloof. Preoccupied.

At the greenhouse, he filled a cart with basil, oregano, sage and parsley plants.

“How about arugula?” he asked. “Want to try to grow some?”

“Sure. If you like it.”

The scent of basil filled the car as they drove away from the greenhouse along a country road. The late afternoon sun gilded the horizon, casting a glow upon the budding trees along the highway. Lucrezia stretched voluptuously, arching her back and thrusting her breasts forward. Cesare swallowed hard.

“What would you like to do now, Baby Bunny? Want to go to your house and get these plants into the ground?”

She sighed. Why was he dancing around the obvious?

“You know what I want to do.”

He cleared his throat and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

“No, I really don’t.”

“Pull over. Now.”

His face tense, he obliged her.

She unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over towards him.

“Cesare,” she whispered, her lips close to his. “I’ve reached the age of consent…and…I consent.”

“Baby Bunny…”

“I’m ready. We don’t have to wait anymore.”

“We shouldn’t rush into things.”

“Rush into things? We’ve been waiting for nearly a year!”

“Honey…”

Her lips began to quiver. Her eyes filled with burning tears.

“Don’t you want me?”

“Oh, Bunny! I do. I want you so much. But every time I think about making love to you, the memory comes back of you in Juan’s arms. Of what he was about to do to you. I wouldn’t dream of subjecting you to that.”

“Juan and you are light years apart. You’re good. Gentle. I love you. I _want_ to make love with you. Oh, Cesare, can’t you see the difference?”

“You’re so tiny. So young. My baby bunny. I’m so afraid of hurting you.”

“You hurt me more by keeping away from me. You told me you wanted to wait because I was too young. Now I’m not.”

“If you could see yourself as I see you, Baby Bunny, you’d realize how mistaken you are. How young you really are. Too young to make a decision that will affect the rest of your life.”

“How old were you when you first had sex?”

“Um..sixteen.”

“Well, I’ll be damned!”

“Bunny, I realize now that I was much too young then. Besides, I’m a guy. It’s different for a guy.”

“How?”

“It just is.”

“Bullshit!”

“Don’t use such language, Bunny. It’s so crude coming from you.”

“Can I do anything that isn’t ‘G’ rated?”

“Lucrezia, I cherish you. You’re so innocent. I love that about you.”

“It’s getting lonely here up on the pedestal you’ve set me on.”

“You’re so beautiful. So pure.”

“I’m real. Not a marble statue. Not some ‘ideal.’”

Lucrezia yanked her sweater over her head and threw it into the back seat.

“Look at me, Cesare. Touch me.”

She grasped his hand and ran it over her breasts, which filled the black lace bra she had put on especially for him. He jerked his hand back.

“Bunny…please…” he whispered. “Don’t do this. We can’t…”

“We must. I want to. Oh, Cesare, I love you. Don’t you love me?”

“I do, Lucrezia. Too much to defile you.”

“ _Defile_ me? Is that what you think sex with me would do?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I only know that I look at you and see someone who is still a child. Too young to understand the ramifications of what she’s asking for. You may feel grown up, but, honestly, Baby Bunny, you’re not.”

“When will I be?”

“Soon. But we can’t go by some arbitrary date to determine that.”

Cesare reached into the back seat and retrieved Lucrezia’s sweater.

“Please, honey. Put this back on. You’re simply too tempting. Too hard to resist.”

She began to sob in despair.

“You don’t give a damn about me, do you? All this time, you’ve led me to believe that it was just a matter of my being underage. So what now?”

“You need to mature a bit more, Bunny. Just a little more. I know this is difficult for you. I’m honored that you love me enough to want me to make love to you. But remember this: I love you enough to wait until the time is right. It’s been hell for me, having to keep my hands off of you, when all I want to do is fuck your brains out. Think how wonderful it will be when you _are_ old enough. All that waiting and anticipating will have made it all the better.”

“Cesare, take me home.”

“Bunny…”

“Take me home. Now.”

She got out of the car as soon as it stopped in her driveway and slammed the door behind her, leaving Cesare with a car full of greenery.

“Honey, what should I do with your plants?” he called lamely after her.

She turned her head towards him, her eyes those of a basilisk.

“Stick them up your ass,” she snarled, and disappeared into her house.

 

Her parents were frankly stunned to see Lucrezia arriving home so early on her birthday.

“I thought Cesare had a big agenda planned for you,” Preston mused.

“Apparently not, Daddy,” Lucrezia snapped and stomped to her room.

“ _That boy_ ,” Virginia fumed. “He tried something with her. I just know it. Look how upset she is. I knew his true nature would rear its ugly head eventually. I’m so proud of her for preserving her precious gift.”

_“My dear Ginny,” Preston thought to himself. “You are so full of shit.”_


	8. Crustaceans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Cesare hits bottom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."  
> Groucho Marx

“Aunt Marie.”

Lucrezia’s voice on the phone was tearful.

“Sweetie! How was your birthday? Did you get my gift?”

“I did, Aunt Marie. Thanks. I loved the shawl that you knitted just for me. But my birthday was…well, it was awful!”

“What in God’s name happened?”

“Nothing. That’s just it. Nothing.”

“You mean, you and Cesare…you didn’t…?”

“We didn’t. Cesare told me he still didn’t think I was grown up enough.”

“Well, that certainly throws me for a loss, Sweetie. Postponing lovemaking while you were underage made sense, but I really can’t fathom this. What did he say?”

“He said he loved me too much to defile me.”

“ _Defile_ you?” Oh, honey. How has he been raised? What influences has he had?”

“I really don’t know. I’m so bewildered. All this time, he’s been telling me how the only thing keeping him away from me is my age. Now I don’t know what to think.”

“How long have you been dating? The better part of a year?”

“Yes.”

“I’m wondering if he’s gotten so accustomed to keeping away from you that it’s become a habit for him. One he doesn’t know how to change.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He may have built up this wall in his own mind. A barrier between you. The longer it goes on, the more difficult it is to break it down.”

“Aunt Marie, what should I do? If I make the first move, I’ll likely scare him off. But if I wait for him, I’m afraid it’ll never happen. I lose either way.”

Marie pondered silently. Could all Cesare’s talk of waiting for Lucrezia to mature simply have been blowing smoke? A delaying tactic? A front to hide his own hangups about sex?

“Sweetie, remember when I told you that I thought Cesare was going to have to catch up to you? I had no idea how right I was. You are obviously a lot more grown up than he is, if he’s still clinging to teenage notions about sex being dirty. It’s such a damn shame. All that porno out there, magazines, videos, the Internet. It gives people such distorted, conflicting impressions about sex. ‘You’re supposed to want this,’ they’re told, yet what they see in print and on screen is sordid and disgusting and repulsive. The most beautiful, natural thing in the world is two people coming together in love and innocence, yet this beautiful act has been so corrupted that, for many, the essence is completely lost. So you get Cesare saying that he doesn’t want to defile you.”

Lucrezia began to sob, hot, bitter tears of disappointment and frustration.

“All this time, he told me he was waiting for me because he loves me.”

“Sweetie, I don’t doubt for a minute that he loves you. But that makes it all the more difficult for him. In his mind, you’re too sacred and holy to profane you with sex. Sadly, it’s not an uncommon situation.”

“What do I do?”

“I can’t answer that, Sweetie. Only you know what you are willing to put up with. I know you love him.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Well, perhaps you can try to change his perceptions of sex. Is there a doctor or clergyman or other counselor he trusts?”

“I don’t know. He has a close friend, Mick.”

“What is Mick like?”

“Pragmatic. Earthy.”

“Maybe you should date _him_ , Sweetie.”

“Aunt Marie!”

“Sorry, honey. A bad joke.”

“A terrible joke.”

“Sorry. Anyway, maybe you could confide in Mick. Ask him for help.”

“I’ll try. Thanks, Aunt Marie. I love you.”

“I love you too, Sweetie.”

Lucrezia hung up, her head whirling.

 

_Ask Mick for help? I don’t think I could do that._

  _But I bet Mick would fuck me._

 

Cesare dialed his friend’s number.

“Mick, I need your help. I have to make it up to Lucrezia for a lousy birthday, so I promised to take her dancing on Saturday. She wants me to bring you along for her girlfriend Giulia. Say you’ll come.”

“What happened? How was her birthday lousy?”

“Long story. Just be a friend and take my word for it. I’m lucky she’s still talking to me. You should have seen the shit she made me eat.”

Mick whistled.

“You must have really fucked up, my man.”

“Um…bad choice of words, Mick. Anyway, she asked me to enlist you for Saturday. Her girlfriend is nice. And she’s really beautiful.”

“You sure?”

“I met her. She’s hot. But, Mick, she’s a lady. You have to promise to treat her accordingly. Help her out of the car. Pay attention to her. No running off and abandoning her to get yourself a beer. Anyway, it’s an under-twenty one club, so there won’t be any beer.”

“Aw, fuck that! Besides, I don’t dance.”

“Neither do I. All we’ll have to do is sit there while the girls dance together.”

“That sounds half-assed.”

“It’s what girls do. Mick, I’m begging you. Lucrezia is really pissed off at me. I have to make it up to her.”

“All right. All right. I’ll meet you there.”

 

The dance club was crowded and noisy and garish with colored lights. Mick groaned inwardly, but determined to make the best of things. Besides, Giulia really was hot, and a cool chick as well. He found it pleasant to talk to her. She actually laughed at his jokes.

Although Cesare claimed he didn’t dance, he held his hand out to Lucrezia when the DJ played a dreamy, slow tune. He went to pull her close to him on the dance floor, but she held herself stiffly back from him and would not meet his questioning gaze.

Watching them, Giulia leaned over to Mick and remarked, “Lucrezia really isn’t herself this evening.”

“Cesare told me that she’s really pissed at him for some reason. He’s trying to make up to her, but I don’t think she’s having any of it.”

“From what she’s told me I have a pretty good idea why she’s mad at him. Has Cesare said anything to you?”

“Guys don’t confide in each other, Giulia. Not like girls do.”

“How about you dance with me?”

“I don’t dance, Giulia.”

“Oh, horrors! Then I guess we’re stuck talking to each other.”

Mick grinned.

 

“All right,” the DJ purred. “We’re reaching into our bag of oldies now.”

A frenetic beat banged through the rafters. Billy Idol belting out a tune about a little child bride.

Dragging Giulia by the hand, Lucrezia skipped out onto the dance floor and began to move. A circle cleared around the two as people fell back to watch them.

Lucrezia was transported, her face radiant as the music possessed her. Giulia held back. This was her friend’s moment.

Cesare was preoccupied with staring at Lucrezia’s hypnotic body movements and jumped when he heard his friend’s voice.

“Come outside for a smoke with me. I want to talk to you.”

In the relative quiet outside the club, Mick lit a cigarette. Cesare batted at the fumes.

“Shit, Mick. Stand downwind of me.”

“Whatever. When we go back inside, I want you to look around you, Chez. Look at your girl. Every straight man in this place—hell, probably a couple of gay guys too—would love to fuck her. All she’d have to do is crook her finger at them and they’d jump on her. But the only man who can have her is you, and you’re the only one who won’t touch her. Why?”

“What are you talking about, Mick?”

“I’m your friend. Hers too. I see her yearning for you, dying to give you what nobody else can have, and you just refuse her.”

“What makes you think so?”

“I know, Chez. I don’t think. I know.”

Cesare bridled, his voice clipped and defensive.

“How? Did Lucrezia tell you?”

“No. Charlotte did.”

“Charlotte?”

“Vindictive bitch. Told me all about you and her. You’ll be pleased to know that your dick is way bigger than mine.”

Cesare’s face flushed so deeply that it was apparent even in the dark of night.

“What else did she say?”

“Charlotte has this delusion that someday you’re going to leave Lucrezia for her. She’ll have you and your BMW and your family’s money. She told me that you’re banging her because you don’t want to have sex with Lucrezia. Why not, Chez?”

“That’s no concern of yours, Mick.”

“I care about you. Her too. You’re both miserable. Why won’t you give her what she wants? Make both of you happy?”

“She doesn’t know what she wants. She’s just a little girl.”

“Chez, she’s grown up. She’s ready for you.”

“She isn’t. She’s still a child. Still innocent.”

“Chez…”

“Don’t you remember what she looked like when Juan had hold of her? Like a tiny baby bunny that had been caught by a cat. The most horrible thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ll never forget it.”

“Nor will I. But do you think for a minute that what Juan wanted to do to her has any similarity— _any similarity at all_ —with you making love to her?”

“I promised her I’d take care of her. Protect her. And you’re saying I of all people should violate her? Despoil her?”

“Is that what you think sex is? A violation? A desecration?”

“Isn’t it?”

“Juan’s kind of sex, yes. And the kind of sex you have with Charlotte is cheap and degrading to you. But what Lucrezia wants with you is completely different. Something loving and sacred and holy.”

Cesare snorted.

“Shoving my dick in her is sacred?”

“Chez, aren’t you beyond that ‘sex is dirty’ shit we were force fed as kids? Can’t you look at Lucrezia and see her for the woman that she is? One who loves you and wants to consummate that love with you?”

“Mick, you’re starting to annoy me.”

“Good. It means I’m shaking you out of your apathetic comfort zone and opening your eyes. I’m your friend, Chez. I just want to…”

“Okay, _‘Friend!’_ ” Cesare snapped. “You think Lucrezia should be fucked? _You_ fuck her. I’m outa here.”

Cesare whirled and stalked away, leaving Mick standing dumbfounded.

 

Mick dropped Giulia off and then drove Lucrezia home.

“What happened between you and Cesare?” she asked softly.

“Aw, I guess we just got on each other’s nerves, that’s all. It’s like that sometimes with close friends. We know each other too well, know where all the bodies are buried. I guess I said some things that Cesare didn’t like.”

“I wonder why he was so touchy.”

Mick sighed.

“Who knows, honey? PMS, maybe.”

“Mick!”

“He’d say that about you.”

“No he wouldn’t.”

“No he wouldn’t. You’re right. Sorry for being crude.”

“Did Cesare say anything when he left? Did he say he’d call or anything?”

“No. He just said he was out of here, and he stomped out.”

“Hoo-boy!”

Mick pulled up into the driveway of Lucrezia’s house.

“Now, don’t worry, honey. I’m sure he’ll call you tomorrow. He just needs time to cool down. Anyway, he’s mad at me, not at you.”

“But it worries me that things aren’t right between you and Cesare. I care about you, Mick.”

He kissed her gently on the cheek.

“You’re sweet. I’m glad we’re friends. Have a good night’s sleep now. Things will be fine in the morning.”

 

“Who brought you home, Lucrezia? You weren’t with… _that boy_ _of yours_.”

“Cesare, Mom. His name is Cesare. And no, I didn’t come home with him. My friend Mick drove me home. You didn’t have to wait up for me.”

“Why him? Why not…?”

“’ _That boy_?’ Well, ‘ _that boy_ ’ didn’t feel well, so he went home early.”

“Who is this ‘Mick’ person?”

“I told you. My friend.”

“And is he respectful to you? I was watching through the window and it looked to me like he kissed you.”

“Want to see the big hickey he left on my neck, Mom?”

“You don’t need to be sarcastic, young lady. I’m just concerned about your reputation.”

“You know what, Mom? I have a _terrible_ reputation at school. Have had for years. You know why? Because I have big boobs. For no other reason. Even before I started to date Cesare, I had an evil reputation. I had never even been out with a boy. There was not one guy in the universe who could say he had put a hand on me, yet I was called a slut because I had a big chest.”

“Who said these things about you?”

“Girls in school. Some guys too.”

“Well, they were just jealous of you, that’s all. They weren’t your true friends.”

“I know, and I didn’t want to be friends with them, either. But what I’m trying to say is that it’s possible to have a bad reputation even though you’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

“Well, I don’t know. I’m only trying to steer you in the right direction.”

“I appreciate that, Mom. I do. But what you tell me doesn’t always carry over into the real world. My real world.”

“Are you…are you still a virgin?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Oh, thank God. As infatuated as you are with…”

“’ _That boy_.’ Cesare.”

I was afraid you’d given in to him. Thrown away your most precious gift.”

“Oh, Mom.”

_As much as I’d love to call you out, I won’t. You’d only get mad at Aunt Marie for telling me about you. But your bullshit doesn’t cut it with me any longer._

 Hours after he had stomped out of the dance club, Cesare drove home, feeling crushed by shame. Now he had cheated on Charlotte, with whom he was cheating on Lucrezia. A whore! He had picked up a common streetwalker. Cruising aimlessly, still seething at Mick, at Lucrezia, at the world, he had stopped at a red light. She leaned in through his open window and invited him to “party.” Her efforts to use makeup to conceal the meth sores on her face had been futile. She was emaciated and had rotted teeth. Her offer to do astoundingly depraved things to him overcame his repugnance at her appearance and he drove her to a tacky nearby motel. Afterwards, she seemed pathetically grateful to him for dropping her off where he had initially picked her up instead of merely cutting out on her. He hoped that the smell of her would not linger in his car.

 

The itching was unbearable. First in his groin, then in his armpits. _Son of a bitch!_

He drove to the drugstore and, in a whisper, asked the pharmacist for help.

“I…um…I’m pretty sure I have crabs…”

The druggist gave him a lotion containing permethrin and advised him to see a doctor immediately to be tested for other sexually-transmitted diseases.

“Even though you used a condom, son, anything could have happened. If your partner had pubic lice, it’s entirely possible that she was also infected with other ‘bugs.’ Better safe than sorry.”

 

Deeper and deeper. More and more sordid.

The doctor, after a thorough exam and blood tests, pronounced him fortunate.

“Look Cesare, I’m not judging you. But I urge you to use more caution. You were lucky this time. You might not be so lucky in future. Use that lotion again in two weeks and come back to see me for a recheck, just to be sure.”

 

The more he cheated on Lucrezia, the dirtier he felt, and the dirtier he felt, the more he cheated on her.

He couldn’t even dream of making love to her now. Not with his soul as black as pitch with his sins. Not with his body polluted by contact with cheap sluts.

Lucrezia. His baby bunny. Pure and innocent as a lily. Untouched. How could he ever defile her with his lust?

He loved her so much. So desperately.

He knew she was restless, tired of waiting for him. But she had no idea what she was asking for: the coarse, brutal nature of a man’s lechery. He must continue to guard her from that. Most of all, from himself. His own carnality. His, most of all.


	9. Frontier Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Cesare exacts some rough justice

His face etched with visible signs of stress, Cesare apologized to Lucrezia for having stormed out of the dance club. He had been so contrite that she could not help but forgive him, especially when he laid his head on her bosom and breathed out a sigh that sounded unnervingly like a sob. She tenderly stroked his hair, crooning softly to him. The rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed soothed him like the rocking of a cradle.

“Lucrezia,” he whimpered to her. “I need you. I’d die if you left me.”

“Cesare, my dearest,” she had replied, shocked at the despair in his voice. “I’ll never leave you.”

 

The elder Borgias had breathed a sigh of relief _(“Well, at least now he won’t go to jail.”)_ when Lucrezia celebrated her sixteenth birthday, gifting her with a beautiful white-gold bracelet with a bunny charm to go with Cesare’s ring. She wore the bracelet frequently, including one evening when Cesare brought her home to dinner at his mother’s request. Cesare had agreed to the date only after being assured that Juan would not be there. Vannozza assumed that it was jealousy that caused her elder son to want to keep his little girl away from his brother.

Lucrezia had endeared herself to Vannozza when, after enjoying congenial conversation and a delectable meal, she insisted upon helping with the cleanup.

“I want to,” she had declared. “It gives me the opportunity to spend time with you, Mrs. Borgia.”

Vannozza had gazed into the young girl’s guileless eyes and realized that she spoke from her heart.

“Oh, I like your Lucrezia, Cesare,” Vannozza had told her son quietly as he helped her clear the table. “She’s so sweet.”

“I’m glad you think so, Mom. That means a lot to me.”

Cesare and his father were sitting in the family room chatting when a commotion was heard in the hallway.

“Ah,” Rodrigo smiled. “Juan is home. How fortunate. Now you can introduce him to Lucrezia.”

Cesare’s face froze into a furious scowl.

“You assured me he wouldn’t be here. I’d never have brought Lucrezia over otherwise.”

“Son, we really didn’t expect him. I don’t know why he came home early. But why don’t you want him to meet your girl?”

“Can you really not remember what I told you about him? Really?”

Cesare stood up and hurried into the kitchen where the women were finishing up.

“Bunny, we have to go. Right now.”

“But Cesare,” Vannozza protested mildly. “I thought I heard your brother come in. Wouldn’t you like Lucrezia to meet him?”

Cesare glanced over at Lucrezia. The blood had drained from her face. She stood frozen in panic. He pulled her close to him.

“Don’t be scared, Bunny. I won’t leave your side.”

“Scared?” Vannozza was puzzled. “Scared of what? What’s wrong?”

“Mom, we have to leave. Just trust me on this.”

At that moment, Juan entered the kitchen.

“Hey, Mom. Is anything left over from dinner…Oh, why, hello there.”

“Juan,” Vannozza interjected, “Let me introduce Lucrezia Hamilton, Cesare’s young lady.”

His hands on his hips, Juan smirked, “Pleased to meet you.”

Lucrezia clung to Cesare, who hustled her out of the kitchen and into the front hall.

Behind them, they heard Rodrigo’s voice.

“What the hell was that all about?”

Juan snorted in derision. He was loud, cocky.

“So _that’s_ Cesare’s precious girlfriend? I knew he was dating someone, but I had no idea it was this chick I hooked up with last summer at the Nationality picnic. All this time, my brother has been boning my sloppy seconds.”

Cesare stiffened, then inhaled and gave Lucrezia a gentle squeeze, as if to reassure her. His stride lengthened and gathered momentum as he hurled himself down the hallway.

Cesare slammed into his brother so hard that Juan was knocked backward onto the kitchen floor. Cesare knelt over Juan, straddling his supine body.

“Your seconds? Your sloppy seconds?” Cesare bellowed, grabbing Juan by the shirt front and slugging his face with a rock-hard fist. Cesare pounded Juan with a flurry of blows as Rodrigo, shouting, attempted to pull him off of Juan. Maddened with fury, Cesare would not be dislodged.

“Dad! Dad! Help me.” Juan begged.

Vannozza, stunned, shrieked for Cesare to stop.

Boiling with rage, he continued to smash at his brother’s face.

“Tell them, you lying piece of shit. Tell them what you did. Tell the truth.”

“Dad! Help. He’s crazy. He’ll kill me.” Juan’s voice became frantic.

“What’s the matter, shithead? Are you only tough when you’re mauling little girls? Tell them!” Cesare screamed.

“All right. All right. I didn’t touch her. I swear. I didn’t touch her.”

“What else, asshole? Tell them what you did.” Cesare paused for a moment to let Juan speak.

“What else? What else is there? Wait! Stop. Don’t hit me. What do you want me to say?”

“The truth. How you lured Lucrezia into the woods and you and your toady, Alphonse, were going to rape her.”

“Juan, no!” Vannozza cried. “That can’t be true.”

“It’s true, Mom,” Cesare snarled. “Tell them, Juan.” He grabbed his brother by the throat. “Tell them, dammit!”

“She came into the woods with us. Willingly. We were…we were going to have a bit of fun. She…she…”

Cesare pulled back his fist. Juan quailed.

“Well, Alphonse and me, we may have made a misjudgment about her willingness.”

Cesare straightened up from his position hunched over Juan’s sprawling body.

“He told Lucrezia he would take her to see some baby animals. That’s why she went with him. Mick and I saw what was happening and followed them and came upon Juan and Toady about to rape her.”

Vannozza began to weep. “Oh, Juan, how could you?”

“Mom,” Juan whined, “We wouldn’t have raped her. Alphonse and I thought she wanted to…”

“Liar,” Cesare snapped. “You had your hand covering her mouth and her arms pinned at her sides. She was crying. Nobody, not even you, could have mistaken that for consent. The only reason you and your little friend Igor didn’t rape her was because Mick and I stopped you.”

Cesare covered Juan’s face with his large hand and shoved his head against the floor before he stood up. “Sloppy seconds? You piece of shit. Don’t you ever say a word about my Lucrezia again. Ever.”

Cesare stalked out of the kitchen without a backward glance. He could hear Juan’s mewling voice.

“You know what I said isn’t true, don’t you, Mom? Dad? He was crazy. He made me say it. Otherwise, he might have killed me. You believe me, don’t you?”

Lucrezia, having heard all, was shaking when Cesare, breathing hard, rejoined her in the front hallway.

“Cesare…” she began, then gave a tiny cry. “Oh, your hand!”

The knuckles on Cesare’s right hand were bruised and bleeding.

“Cesare, what did you do?”

“I imposed a little ‘frontier justice,’ he said, as lightly as his panting breath would allow.

She reached for his battered hand and brought it to her lips. Her eyes shone with admiration.

“You beat him up, didn’t you? For me?”

“For us, Baby Bunny. For both of us.”

“I love you, Cesare.”

“I love you back. Let’s get the hell outa here.”

Cesare let out a long breath. Frontier justice? More like a rite of exorcism.

A few days later, Cesare moved into an apartment near campus. Lucrezia helped him to settle in, unpacking his clothes and hanging some curtains which she had picked out at the department store. She made up the bed with freshly-laundered sheets and blankets. Together they wandered through the local supermarket, filling a shopping cart with foodstuffs and supplies. Cesare noted that Lucrezia had a knack for this sort of thing, spotting bargains and choosing the best produce and meats. _She knows what she’s doing, he thought. She’s not just playing house._


	10. The Girl From Ipanema

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Lucrezia becomes aware

In the gymnasium locker room at school, Lucrezia pressed her hand to her belly, seized up with the now-familiar _mittelschmerz,_ which her doctor had told her was caused by ovulation. The discomfort would last for a day or two. She had rather grown fond of it, as it affirmed her cycles for her, assuring her that her female body was functioning as it should.

After her swim class, she had showered and washed her hair, but had not had time to dry it completely, so she let it fall loose and unbraided down her back, hoping it would dry in the sun. Feeling that her abdominal discomfort left her looking a bit pale, she applied crimson lipstick to give her face some color and donned a simple blue shift dress and sandals for the walk home. As she descended the wide stone steps at the front of the school building, a group of upperclassmen froze in their loud, profane banter and turned to stare at her. At her long, gleaming hair and her ivory skin, her clear blue eyes and full red mouth, her petite frame with the startlingly big bosom, her smooth bare legs and small feet with their painted toenails. She raised her head and threw her shoulders back, which had the unintentioned effect of thrusting her breasts forward to even greater display, and passed the young men by, ignoring their whistles and crude compliments. As she made her way homeward, a car slowed down beside her and its two male occupants called out.

“Damn, you’re hot!”

She blushed becomingly and smiled at them as they drove on.

Without realizing it, Lucrezia slowed the pace of her steps to match the languid rhythm of the bossa nova tune which began to hum in her head.

_Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking…_

A letter carrier, bending to rest his heavy satchel on the ground, straightened and frankly stared at her as she passed him.

A young man in his twenties, short but muscular and wiry, stopped as she strolled by him and murmured, “Bellissima.”

A warm sense of complete well-being washed over her.

Just as she turned onto her street, a small boy, walking a puppy on a leash, looked up at her.

“You’re pretty,” he said, awestruck.

“Thank you,” she replied graciously.

As she entered the kitchen, her mother glanced up and froze. She grabbed Lucrezia by the arm and shoved her own face, a mask of rage and alarm and dread, into that of her daughter.

“Get that shit off your face right now,” she hissed.

Lucrezia’s crimson lips stretched slowly into an icy smile. She regarded her mother with calm blue eyes, behind which lay a new sheet of cold, hard, blue steel.

Virginia’s lips trembled. She looked down, unable to meet the challenge of her daughter’s defiance.

Neither one spoke, but both acknowledged.

_I am a woman now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Girl From Ipanema," written by Antonio Carlos Jobim, et al, performed by Stan Getz and Astrud Gilberto, Verve Records, 1964


	11. ...Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein is spent a weekend communing with nature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”: line spoken by Mae West in the film “Sextette” directed by Ken Hughes, Crown International Pictures, 1978

Giulia and her brother Alex invited Lucrezia, Cesare and Mick to spend a weekend with them at their parents’ cabin in the mountains. The weather promised to be pleasant and mild, and all were anticipating a delightful time, until Cesare and Mick learned that Alex’s guest was to be Charlotte Albert.

“Do you believe it, Mick,” Cesare groaned in dismay. “Now she’s with Alex. She bounces from guy to guy like a goddam pinball.”

“Just play dumb, Chez. Everyone knows I used to date her, but nobody will know about you unless you give it away.”

 

Giulia, over lunch at the school cafeteria on Friday, discussed logistics with Lucrezia.

“The cabin is big. It has a huge eat-in kitchen with a long trestle table. Then there’s what I call the ‘common room’, where everyone gathers in front of the hearth. Lots of comfortable chairs and sofas. There are two full bathrooms and a powder room. Five bedrooms, each with a set of twin beds. Everybody gets their own room, except you and me. We’ll share. But I sleep like a rock and wouldn’t even know if you were there or not. Cesare’s room has a double bed,” Giulia whispered to Lucrezia.

“Thanks, Giulia, but I’ve pretty much given up on that dead dog.”

“Oh, Lucrezia, no. Don’t say that.”

“I don’t know what to do, Jules. I just know that I love him and can’t live without him.”

“Then love him, Lu. Love him.”

 

Lucrezia enjoyed a pleasant evening with Cesare over dinner at a quiet restaurant, talking about their upcoming weekend.

“I’ll pick you up at 7:00 AM tomorrow so we can go grocery shopping. Are you sure you don’t mind doing all the cooking for everyone, Bunny?”

“I’m happy to, to thank Giulia and Alex for inviting us. Besides, you’re the one paying for all the food.”

“Everyone wanted to chip in, but I said no. That’s my way of saying thanks for the hospitality.”

“Giulia told me that there’s a farm near the cabin where we could rent some horses for a ride, if we want to, and there are hiking trails. In the evening, we can have a fire in the hearth because it will get chilly after dark.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

Lucrezia smiled noncommittally and let Cesare’s remark stand unaddressed.

“I’m sure we’ll have a great time. If there’s anything in particular you want me to cook, let me know tomorrow when we’re grocery shopping.”

Cesare brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“I’ll be happy with anything you do.”

His green eyes locked with hers. She froze for a moment, unable to speak, then caught herself and tried to redirect the conversation to a neutral topic.

 

“She’s given up on me,” Cesare thought as he drove home from Lucrezia’s house. “She won’t even respond to anything sexually suggestive on my part. I can’t blame her.”

_But what am I going to do about it?_

 

Cesare dreamed of Lucrezia that night. He heard her voice whispering in his ear.

“I’m waiting for you, Cesare, my love, but you must come to me.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m right in front of you. You need only reach out to me.”

“I’m not worthy of you, Lucrezia. My touch would profane you.”

“Who told you that? Why do you believe them?”

“They’re older. Wiser. They know about life. About living.”

“What do they know of you and me? Of what happens between us? When I knelt in front of you, took you into my hand, did I profane you?”

“No, of course not. You were acting out of love for me.”

“And would you not be doing the same?”

“Lucrezia, I’ve sinned against you.”

“Then sin no more. I was meant for you, Cesare. Our hearts and minds are as one. Love me. Only me.”

“Only you. I am yours.”

 

Cesare had a difficult time keeping his eyes on the road rather than on the girl in the passenger’s seat beside him. Lucrezia was wearing pink, French terrycloth shorts and a matching pink and white top that showed off her round breasts and smooth, satiny legs. She had kicked off her socks and sneakers for the two and a half hour ride to the cabin, revealing soft little bare feet with tiny toes that he wanted to suck.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured to her, as she shook her gleaming hair out of its customary braid and let it flow abundantly over her shoulders and bosom. He reached over past the console and rested his hand on her knee, his fingers curling around her inner thigh. Her face did not change expression, but she clenched her jaw so hard it hurt. Maybe the dog wasn’t dead after all.

Giulia and Alex had driven up with Charlotte and arrived at ten in the morning. Cesare and Lucrezia arrived twenty minutes later, about five minutes before Mick pulled up.

 

Lucrezia now stood at the kitchen stove sautéing mushrooms, green peppers and onions for an omelet. She had a skillet of bacon cooking and a tower of whole wheat bread to toast. Cesare came up behind her and circled his arms around her, kissing her neck. She leaned her head back against his chest and sighed. How virile, how wonderfully male he smelled. He pressed his belly against her back, and she felt how glad he was to see her.

 

“Aw, look!” Charlotte entered the kitchen with her eyebrows raised and her mouth skewed into a smirk. “Look at our little Lucrezia, taking care of her man.”

Lucrezia bit her tongue and forced herself to smile.

“Hi, Charlotte. I’m making brunch for everyone. I thought we’d all be hungry after that long drive to get here.”

Without raising his head from Lucrezia’s throat, Cesare declared, “She makes her man completely happy. How can I help, Bunny?”

“Would you mind getting the juice out of the refrigerator? And some glasses and plates from the cupboard? Food will be ready very soon.”

“I’ll get the silverware if you tell me where it is,” Charlotte offered.

“In this drawer right here,” Giulia said, arriving just as Charlotte was speaking. “Thanks for cooking for us, Lucrezia. I’ll do dinner this evening.”

“I’ll want to cook,” Lucrezia insisted. “I enjoy it.”

“Then I will help.”

Giulia set to work toasting the bread and assigned Charlotte to brew coffee. Cesare rounded up Mick and Alex, and the three finished setting the trestle table in the kitchen.

Lucrezia served the brunch, which everyone attacked eagerly. Cesare pulled her down into the chair beside him and insisted that she eat with the group.

“I want to get the coffee,” she protested, but he stood and fetched it himself. He set it down on a potholder in the middle of the table.

“Anyone wants coffee, there it is,” he announced.

When everyone had finished eating, Cesare shooed them from the kitchen and he and Lucrezia cleaned up. When they had started the dishwasher and wiped the table clean, he drew Lucrezia close to him and softly proposed a short walk among the trees.

Holding hands, they ambled along slowly, entering more deeply into the forest. Lucrezia began to become anxious that Cesare may be recalling another time when she had been led into woods. She stopped walking and embraced him.

“I’m so glad to be here with you,” she murmured. She raised her eyes to his.

“Oh, Lucrezia,” he whispered, and bent to bring his mouth to hers. He kissed her hard, again and again, and then caught her up in his arms. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her over to a big oak tree, leaning her back against it, kissing her heatedly. He slipped his hand underneath her pink and white top, caressing her breast, round and soft and luscious as a ripe peach. She whispered his name and begged him not to stop.

“Not this time, Bunny,” he assured her.

He set her feet on the ground, his eyes drilling into hers. He pushed his eager fingers underneath the waistband of her shorts, underneath the top edge of her panties.

“Let me, my Baby. Let me.”

“God, yes!”

His hand traveled along the smooth plane of her belly, pausing to stroke her silky patch of pubic hair. He then continued downward, cupping her pussy, hot and wet against his palm. Carefully, tenderly, he rubbed her with his finger, coating it with her slippery juice. When he touched her clitoris, she cried out in surprise and delight.

“That’s it, Bunny,” he crooned to her. “Just go with it. Let me make you happy.”

She burned for his kiss, so she pulled his head down to meet hers. She opened her lips and eagerly sucked on his tongue when he pushed it into her mouth. He continued to stroke her clitoris, using two fingers now, increasing the pressure he was applying.

“Cesare! Hey, Cesare!”

Mick! Approaching.

Cesare cursed furiously.

He withdrew his hand from Lucrezia’s shorts and brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking them with immoderate gusto.

“My God, Bunny! You taste so good.”

Lucrezia was galvanized, stunned with desire.

“Chez! Hey, Chez!” Mick’s voice was getting closer. “We’re getting up a game of…"

“Don’t care, Mick.” Cesare’s called out in reply, his tone mordant.

“But we’re waiting on you.”

“Not interested, Mick.”

“But…”

Mick pulled up short when he came upon his friends, Lucrezia with her back against a tree, clinging to Cesare as he leaned over her, possessive, dominant, a stag in rut.

“Oh, shit. Did I interrupt something?”

“Your timing, as always, is impeccable, Mick.”

“Um…we were getting up a game of…”

Mick began backing away.

“Sorry. Sorry. Leaving now.”

“That asshole,” Cesare muttered against the velvet of Lucrezia’s throat.

“Does he do that on purpose?” Lucrezia’s voice was terse.

“No, he’s just a doofus. A goddam doofus.”

“We should go back, Cesare.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to finish what we started?”

“God, yes, but not here. I feel too vulnerable. Too exposed.”

Cesare kissed her long and deeply.

“Tonight, then.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”


	12. Nessun Dorma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein a restless night is passed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nessun Dorma - "None Shall Sleep": from the opera "Turandot" by Giacomo Puccini, 1924

“Make sure,” Cesare said to the stable owner, “to give my girl a nice, gentle mount. She’s not an experienced rider and you can see how tiny she is.”

“She’ll have Pixie then,” the horseman replied, indicating a small chestnut mare with a straw-colored mane and tail. “Good gait, good temperament. Your girl will have a pleasant ride.”

Cesare helped Lucrezia, wearing jeans and a western-style plaid shirt, up into Pixie’s saddle.

“I’ve been assured that she’s just the horse for you, Bunny. A sweet little mare.”

Lucrezia leaned down from the saddle and whispered to Cesare.

“Later on, I’ll want to sit astride a big, rough stallion.”

He laid his hand on her thigh and squeezed.

“You’re gonna make me come in my pants.”

 

The long horseback ride had worn Lucrezia out.

“I got up at five this morning,” she murmured to Cesare as he hovered over her. “I made a pie to bring along for dessert today. I wanted it to be fresh.”

“Well, the pie is fresh, but you, my Bunny, are wilted. You need a nap. I’m putting you to bed.”

He picked her up bodily from the sofa in the common room where she had been half-dozing and carried her to his room. Too sleepy to protest, cuddled against his chest, she was vaguely aware of a room full of raised eyebrows. Mick elbowed Giulia in the ribs.

“Dumbass,” Lucrezia thought groggily. “Will he ever figure out that Giulia is a girl?”

Cesare kicked the door shut behind him and sat Lucrezia on the bed. He knelt down and removed her socks and shoes. Dazed with fatigue, past caring about shyness and propriety, she unbuttoned her shirt and peeled it off, then pushed her jeans down past her hips. Cesare gently lowered her onto her back and finished taking off her pants and then just stared at her.

God, she was beautiful! Her lush, smooth curves stunned him, immobilized him.

Lucrezia. In bed. In just her underclothes. He could not tear his eyes away from the warm, glowing ivory skin that peeked above her bra, the flawless cleavage that hinted at the wonders just beneath that small scrap of wire and fabric. The soft, round belly. The curve of her pussy outlined by her panties. Lucrezia. His woman.

“Cesare?”

Her voice, slightly cranky, startled him back to the here and now.

He smiled gently. “I’m here, Bunny. I want you to have a nap now.”

“Oh. Okay.” She spoke so softly that he could barely hear her.

He sat down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard with his legs stretched out. She shifted her body halfway onto his lap, her arm about him, her face pressed against his crotch.

“She’s too sleepy to know what she’s doing,” he thought. “But I’m not. I don’t think she’d mind my looking at her, but anything else would be so wrong. I’d better leave.”

He slid out from beneath her, covered her with a knitted afghan from the back of a chair, then bent and gave her a tender kiss on the cheek.

“Sleep now, my Bunny. I’ll see you later.”

When he entered the common room, his friends looked up with expectant faces.

“Well…” Mick began.

“Well, what? She’s asleep. She got up too damn early this morning to make us a pie, which all of you had better plan on eating. Every crumb.”

“You mean, you just…”

“She’s exhausted. I put her to bed. She went out like a light. I have a couple more things I need to get out of the car. Be right back.”

Charlotte followed Cesare outside.

“Not into necrophilia?” she smirked.

“Even though, once upon a time, I was hard up enough to bang you, I never grew to like fucking an inanimate object.”

“You’re mean, Cesare.”

“Charlotte, what are you doing here? Seriously.”

“Alex invited me,” she pouted. “We’ve been dating for a little while now. He’s nicer to me than you ever were.”

“Don’t tell me. Let me guess. His dick is bigger than mine too.”

“You don’t need to be shitty, Cesare.”

“Well, you need to keep your mouth shut, Charlotte. Should you be tempted to blab to Lucrezia, keep in mind that Alex’s sister is her good friend. I can’t imagine he’d be too thrilled to learn about that little bit of your history.”

“As if I’d ever want to admit to it.”

“Good. And quit needling Lucrezia, acting like you know something she doesn’t.”

“But I do!”

“Charlotte, I’m warning you…”

“Oh, calm down. Your little girl will never learn a thing from me.”

 

Lucrezia slept for about an hour and awoke to find Cesare lying beside her. Earlier, everyone had decided they needed a rest and retired to their rooms. He had quietly curled up next to Lucrezia, under the afghan which covered her, and drifted off, lulled by the warmth of her body. She now raised herself up on one elbow and regarded him, beautiful in slumber, his long eyelashes resting on his cheeks, his bow-shaped lips slightly parted. How she loved him! How she longed for his love. Reluctantly, she rose from the bed and dressed. There was dinner to be made. Later on, as he promised, love would be made.

 

The aroma of cooking wafted through the cabin, rousing the sleepers from their beds, suddenly aware of how hungry they were. Lucrezia had already set the table and was finishing a huge tossed salad when her companions joined her in the kitchen.

“I’ve made a chicken and rice casserole. Hope you all like it,” she announced, removing a big glass baking dish from the oven. “And save room for apple pie.”

Giulia and Mick volunteered for cleanup duty after the campers demolished the dinner. Cesare settled Lucrezia in the common room with a cup of tea while he and Alex got a log fire going in the hearth.

“You’re quite the cook, aren’t you,” Charlotte purred to Lucrezia patronizingly. “You have so many talents. No wonder your honey is crazy about you.”

 _“I’m going to deck that bitch,”_ Cesare thought and he gripped a thick piece of firewood until his knuckles turned white. He finished stoking the fire and went to sit beside Lucrezia, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her cheek.

They were still entwined together on the sofa when Mick and Giulia joined them in the common room. Mick carried several bottles of wine which he set on an end table next to himself. Giulia carried a tray of glasses and a corkscrew.

“We have red and white here. What’s your preference?”

Cesare arose and poured a large portion of pinot noir which he offered to Lucrezia.

“No thanks,” she said. “I’ll stick with my tea.”

“How considerate, Cesare,” Charlotte observed. “Your little girl doesn’t want to get you in trouble for contributing to the delinquency of a…”

“Enough!” Cesare snapped. “Your jokes about Lucrezia’s age have worn thin, Charlotte. Knock it off.”

An awkward silence fell over the room. Cesare gulped down his wine and poured some more.

Lucrezia crawled onto his lap, embracing him. Mollified, he kissed the top of her blonde head and held her close.

“Don’t you want some wine, Bunny?” he murmured.

“No, honestly. I really don’t care for it.”

“More for me, then,” Mick remarked cheerfully.

Giulia smacked him lightly on the arm. “You are so uncouth. Why do I put up with you?”

“’Cause I make you laugh.”

“That you do, Mick. God help me.”

As the evening wore on and more and more wine was consumed, the atmosphere in the cabin became relaxed and convivial. Even Charlotte seemed to temper her sarcasm. Only Lucrezia appeared to be restive, stirring in Cesare’s arms, tugging on his shirt to get his attention, gazing into his eyes with unspoken entreaties. Finally she stood up and went into the kitchen, returning with bowls of cheese curls and pretzels which she set on the coffee table.

“I’m going to take a shower and get ready for bed,” she announced and walked towards her room, glancing backwards over her shoulder at Cesare. Had he forgotten his promise?

Cesare swallowed hard, seeming to tense up. He took a long gulp of wine.

Mick began to giggle.

“I know how Lucrezia feels about this sort of thing, so I didn’t want to say anything while she was here, but now…”

He went over to where his jacket was hung and produced from its pocket a plastic sandwich bag.

“Is that what I think it is?” Alex exclaimed, his eyes lighting up.

“Already rolled for us. See how considerate I am.”

Cesare reached for the joint which Mick held out to him.

“Don’t tell Lucrezia, whatever you do, but I kinda need this.”

“What’s wrong?” Mick asked. “Are you feeling jumpy, Chez?”

He took several more hits before Alex was able to prevail upon him to pass it along. He chugged some wine, then reached into the baggie and extracted a fat doobie which he lit and drew from deeply again and again, until he heard Lucrezia’s voice.

“Goddammit, Mick, did you bring weed?”

Mellow, insouciant, Mick grinned.

“I cannot tell a lie.”

Lucrezia, dressed in a robe and with her hair still wet, drew near the fireplace.

Suddenly, Cesare’s eyes widened and he made a gurgling sound in his throat. Lucrezia turned her head sharply to him, just in time to see him double over, vomiting onto the coffee table with so much force that the bowl of cheese curls was hit and knocked onto the floor.

Everyone jumped up, shouting with surprise and disgust, trying to get out of the way.

“Cesare,” Lucrezia cried out. “What’s wrong?’

He continued to vomit, helplessly. Mick ran to the bathroom and returned with several large towels, which he held to Cesare’s mouth.

Lucrezia began to cry. Mick tried to soothe her.

“He’s okay, honey. He just shouldn’t have mixed wine and weed. Sometimes this happens. He’ll be fine.”

When Cesare appeared to be empty, Lucrezia ordered Mick to help him into the bathroom and stand him on the floor mat. She gently and carefully stripped him to his undershorts, indicating to Mick to sit him on the edge of the tub so she could remove his shoes and socks. Cesare began to blubber.

“I’m sorry, Bunny. I’m so sorry. If you want to, we can still try…”

Lucrezia ignored him.

“Finish undressing him and put him in the shower, Mick. I’ll take his clothes and wash them, and clear up the mess in the common room.”

“Okay. Sorry about this, Lucrezia.”

“You just had to bring that damn weed, didn’t you? Tonight was going to be the night for me, Mick. First the hayride, then the oak tree, now this. Are you sabotaging me? Are you?”

She couldn’t help but laugh ruefully, and then Mick chuckled too.

“Forgive me, honey. I promise you, I won’t let anything more happen.”

Mick wrapped a towel around Cesare’s waist and half-carried him to his room, where he put him to bed, with a basin beside him in case he felt sick again.

Lucrezia cleaned up in the common room and did the dishes while the washer ran. She refused all offers of assistance.

“It’s Cesare’s mess, and Cesare is my mess,” she said. “I’ll see to it.”

Mick, feeling responsible, tried to help but gagged so hard that she sent him away.

“I don’t want to have to clean up after you as well,” she sighed. “Go on to bed.”

 

The cabin had been silent for several hours when Charlotte tiptoed from her bedroom and into Cesare’s.

“Hi, Lover.” She shed her bathrobe, revealing herself to be quite naked. She lay down beside him, causing the bed to rock a little.

Cesare groaned. “Get the fuck outa here, Charlotte,” he snarled, his eyes closed, his back turned towards her.

“But Cesare, I thought you might want to fool around a little. For old time’s sake.”

“If I wasn’t already sick as a dog, that idea would make me puke. Get out.”

“You dickhead. Since when do you get on your high horse?

“Leave, Charlotte. Now. Go sleep with someone who wants your sorry ass.”

When Charlotte heard Cesare begin to snore, she plopped herself angrily onto the pillow.

Shit! What a bore he had become. Well, she wasn’t about to move. This bed was more comfortable than hers, and she had gotten nice and cozy. She’d just sleep here for awhile and sneak out before dawn.

Lucrezia was restless. Cesare was right there, right down the hall. Maybe he was naked. The thought made her body burn. Maybe, just maybe, if she went to him, surprised him, got into bed with him…Well, at the very least, she might have the pleasure of lying beside him in the dark. Perhaps he would wrap her in his arms and hold her close. It was worth a try.

Cesare’s room was dark, but even so, she could discern the outline of his long body beneath the blankets on the bed. He lay on his side facing her. When she crept closer and leaned over to kiss his cheek, her eyes widened in horror, for beside Cesare, on the other side of his bed, Charlotte Albert lay sleeping, her naked shoulders visible above the bedclothes. Lucrezia’s mouth opened into a scream that caught in her throat and died there unuttered. She began to shake, and clapped her trembling hands over her mouth. Her ring, symbol of Cesare’s love, gleamed dully in the dim light, snagging her vision. Lucrezia slowly lowered her hand from her face and stared at the ring, stroking its smooth surface. She silently tugged it from her finger and laid it on the nightstand beside the bed, then turned and departed.

Mick, his red hair disheveled and his face puffy from sleep, opened the door in response to her quiet knock.

“Lucrezia! What the fuck…?”

“Mick, I’m sorry to wake you, but I need your help. I need to go home. Right now.”

Her voice was tight and hoarse with choked-back tears.

“Well, sure, honey, but wouldn’t you rather ask Cesare?” Mick yawned, covering his mouth with his hand.

“I need _your_ help, Mick. Please. I’ll tell you more in the car.”

“Well, okay. Give me a minute to get dressed. Are you ready to go?”

“I’ve packed my things and put my suitcase by the front door.”

Mick picked up a pair of jeans draped over a chair and took his car keys out of a pocket.

“Here. How about you go start the car and warm it up? I’ll carry your gear out.”

“All right. Please don’t wake anyone.”

It only took Mick a short time to emerge from the cabin. He placed Lucrezia’s luggage into the trunk, closing it with a muffled ‘thunk’. When he got behind the wheel, he turned to Lucrezia, his eyebrows raised.

“Honey, are you okay?”

“Just drive, Mick. Please.”

Lucrezia said nothing until they pulled out onto the interstate several miles from the cabin site. Then she dissolved into hysterical crying.

“Jesus, honey,” Mick stammered. ”What the hell happened? Are you hurt? Do you need a hospital?”

“Mick, I...I went into Cesare’s room and found…found…”

Mick’s blood turned to ice.

“What did you find?”

“Charlotte. Charlotte was sleeping with him.”

Mick hissed a breath between his teeth.

“That stupid son of a bitch!”

Lucrezia had begun to shake violently, and Mick knew it was not from cold, but rather from shock.

“I’m going to pull off onto the next rest stop. We don’t have to get out. We can just stay in the car. But we’ve got to talk about this.”

“Had you known, Mick? About Charlotte.”

“Honey, I…”

“You knew.”

“Yeah. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. I knew it would hurt you.”

Lucrezia wrapped her arms around herself and stayed silent until they pulled into the rest stop.


	13. LuLu The Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein may be found the aftermath

Cesare awoke to sunlight glaring through his closed eyelids.

Shit! What time was it?

Shit! Shit! Shit! What was Charlotte doing in bed beside him?

He shook her. She mumbled a weak protest.

“Wake up. Now.” His voice was caustic. “Get out of here.”

“Huh?”

“I told you to leave last night. Why the fuck are you still here?”

“I fell asleep. So did you.”

He threw back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Aw, Christ! He was naked to boot. When his glance landed on the nightstand, he froze in horror. Lucrezia’s ring. With a shaking hand, he picked it up and showed it to Charlotte.

“Oh my God! Lucrezia must have come here during the night and seen us. You miserable, treacherous cunt. You did this on purpose. You wanted her to see you in bed with me.”

“Don’t be stupid. How was I to know she was going to come to your room?”

“I told you to leave, goddammit!”

“So I fell asleep. So sue me.”

“Sue you? I’d like to kill you. She’s gone, Charlotte. She’s left me. All your fucking fault.”

“My fault? You son of a bitch. Maybe you shouldn’t have fooled around behind her back in the first place.”

Cesare stood up and began to dress.

“She’d never have known if you’d simply left when I told you to. Cunt. Lousy bitch.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who cheated on Lucrezia. You were.”

 

Mick draped his arm protectively around Lucrezia as they entered the rest stop coffee shop.

“We can go back to the car and talk if you want to, honey. I just really could use some caffeine right now.”

“No, I’d rather be in here. At this time of morning, not a lot of people are here and it’s quiet.”

Settled at a table in the far corner, Mick took Lucrezia’s trembling hand in his.

“Now tell me what the hell happened.”

“I couldn’t sleep, so I went to Cesare’s room. I was hoping he was feeling better and he and I could…well, in any case, I wanted to sleep with him in his bed. And I saw that Charlotte was there.”

Her eyes filled with tears, which she struggled not to shed.

“Aw, jeez, Lucrezia. I’m so sorry.”

“You knew about this, Mick. How long had it been going on?”

“Awhile. But I don’t think he saw her a hell of a lot…”

“Stop, Mick. I appreciate your efforts to spare my feelings, but you don’t need to soft pedal it for me.”

“Honey, he can’t stand Charlotte. He just used her for sex.”

“Well, that makes me feel just oodles better, Mick. He didn’t want to sleep with me, but he would bang her.”

“He was convinced that his sexual needs were dirty and he would defile you. I tried to talk to him, make him see reason, but he just couldn’t get beyond that idea. I know this isn’t much help, but he didn’t want to have sex with you because you mean so much to him.”

Lucrezia put her phone onto the table.

“Here, Mick. Would you give this back to him?”

“Oh, honey, no. You keep it.”

“I don’t want anything that came from him.”

“Lucrezia, don’t cut him out completely. Please. At least let him be able to reach you.”

“No. I can’t.”

 

“Giulia, are you telling me I should just forget about this?”

“God, no, Lu! I honestly don’t know whether I could ever forgive Cesare, if I were you. All I’m saying is that maybe you should ask yourself what is most important to you. If Cesare has hurt you so deeply that you’re sure you’ll never get over it, then by all means, never see or speak to him again. But if you love him as I know you do, can you live the rest of your life without him? Or is he worth your trying to forgive him?”

“I don’t know, Jules. I’ll never be able to get that image out of my mind. Charlotte lying next to him in bed.”

“I can’t even imagine how you must have felt. Especially when, all this time, he refused to sleep with you.”

“He acted like he was making this big sacrifice for my good. _My good_ , Jules! It was one thing when I believed we were both frustrated, but to find out that he was telling me one thing and doing quite another…that I was miserable while he was screwing his brains out…”

“I know, Lucrezia. He was an absolute shit. There is no excusing him. You have every reason to never want to see him again. Except…”

“Except?”

“You still love him. You still want him.”

“Yeah.”

“Lu, there’s no denying that Cesare has been a major-league asshole. He’s really messed up about love and sex. But at the bottom of it all, he’s a man who loves you more than life itself. Have you ever wondered what I see in Mick?”

“Truthfully, yeah.”

“He’s uncouth. A cave man. But he’d give his right arm for me.”

“So what? You’d never ask for it.”

“Beside the point. So maybe he doesn’t hold doors open for me. If it was needed, he’d smash them down for me. When you needed help at the cabin, to whom did you go? Mick, that’s who. And why? Because you knew he’d be there for you. He’s a simple guy. He lives by a simple code. He’s for real. He’s what I want. What about you, Lu? What do you want?”

 

“Aunt Marie.”

“Sweetie! How nice of you to call. I’ve been worried about you, ever since you told me about Cesare.”

“Yeah, it’s a mess, isn’t it? I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I thought you had made up your mind that you were through with him.”

“At first I was certain I never wanted to see him again, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Oh?”

“He keeps trying to call me, and send me notes through Giulia and Mick. I haven’t replied to any of his efforts to contact me, but I’m so tempted.”

“What have you told your parents about the breakup?”

“That it just wasn’t working out. Mom was glad. She said she never liked Cesare anyway.”

“She’s so full of shit, Lucrezia.”

“Thanks for that, Aunt Marie. I can’t quite bring myself to say it.”

“Well, she is still your mother.

“I don’t know what to do, Aunt Marie.”

“What do your friends say?”

“Mick tells me I should forgive Cesare, because he’s so sorry. Giulia says I need to ask myself what I can live with.”

“She’s right, Sweetie. Whatever you choose to do, you will be the one living with the consequences. What does your heart tell you?”

“That I’ll love Cesare forever.”

 

“Lucrezia! Oh, thank God! I’ve been trying to reach you, trying to…”

“Shut up. Now listen, Cesare. I don’t care _what_ you’re doing or _who_ you’re doing right now. Get in your car and drive to the Bonfire Inn on Route 819. Room 112. It should take you about twenty five minutes to get here without breaking any land speed records. Drive carefully. I want you here in one piece.”

“Give me a few minutes to shower and change, and I’ll…”

“I said NOW! Drop everything and get here. NOW!”

“Lucrezia. Bunny…”

“This isn’t Lucrezia the bunny. This is LuLu the Playboy Bunny. I’m waiting, and I don’t like to be kept waiting. Bring money. Cash. Bitches like me don’t come cheap.”

“What? Lucrezia, what’s going on here? Have you lost your mind?”

“I’m not Lucrezia, dammit. I’m LuLu. You like your women slutty, don’t you? Then you get on over here right now. You’ve never seen such a slutty bitch as I am. I’ll fuck your brains out.”

“All right. All right. I’ll come.”

“Damn right you will.”


	14. And They Were Both Naked...And Were Not Ashamed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein love is fulfilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Genesis 2:25

_"OOOO I need a dirty woman_

_OOOO I need a dirty girl"_

 

“Lucrezia,” Mick had said as he drove her to the Bonfire Inn, “Are you sure about this?”

“No, Mick, I’m not, but I have to give it a try.”

“You know he loves you, honey.”

“I hope so.”

“I’ll check you in on my credit card. If you change your mind, or things don’t work out, call me and I’ll be right over.”

“Mick, Jules is a lucky girl.”

“I tell her that all the time but she says I’m full of it.”

Lucrezia gave Mick’s shoulder a playful shove.

 

Cesare’s mind raced as he drove. Don’t break any land speed records, Lucrezia had said. What did she expect him to do? Okay, I won’t run any red lights or tailgate the car in front of me. I’ll be sensible. Take time to think. What the Jesus Christ is she up to? Who knows? At least she was speaking to him.

 

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?” Lucrezia mused as she painted her face into what she thought was slutty garishness. Earlier, at home, she had showered and shaved her legs and lotioned and perfumed and powdered her body. Now she applied purple eye shadow. Big spots of blush on her cheeks. Blood-red lip color. She had changed into her black lace birthday lingerie and a black satin wrapper. On her feet were mules with four inch heels and feather trim. Her hair flowed down her back, gleaming. At least that looked pretty good, she thought. She had visited the doctor for birth control pills. She had eaten a lot of pineapple but had she eaten enough?

How would she greet him?

“Hello, Big Boy.” _Lame_

“Wanna party?” _Dumb_

“Want your world rocked?” _Dumber_

“How about a trip around the world?”

She didn’t even know what that meant, but had heard someone say it at school and it sounded lurid.

She had gone certifiably insane.

She kept running to the window to look for him and saw him pull up and park outside the room.

Oh, my God. What would he think?

 

Lucrezia yanked open the door as Cesare’s hand was still poised to knock.

“Hi, Lucrezia,” he said with raised eyebrows and a timid, puzzled grin.

She tossed her hair and tried to look seductive.

“Hello, Cesare” she said, attempting to make her voice sound husky and sultry.

“Are you getting a cold?” he asked solicitously.

She cleared her throat.

“I’m fine. Now get in here.”

She yanked him by the shirt front and pulled him into the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Lucrezia, Bunny, what’s this all about?”

“I told you, I’m not Lucrezia. I’m LuLu. Am I slutty enough for you?”

Wobbling on her spike-heeled mules, she pushed him over to the bed and made him sit down on the edge of it.

“Okay, Lucrezia, LuLu, whatever the hell your name is, I…”

“Shut up,” she snapped. She moved close to him, standing between his thighs, and let her wrapper fall to the floor.

“You like my boobs?” She pressed them into his face.

_‘I’m going to pass out. I’m going to die,’ she thought._

“Bunny, why are you doing this? This isn’t you.”

“Here. Take off my bra.”

“Lucrezia!”

“Fine. I’ll take it off myself.”

She brought her hands behind her back, but Cesare grasped them.

“Lucrezia. Don’t. Don’t do this.”

She began to cry, very hard. Her mascara ran in big, dark rivulets down her soft cheeks.

“No matter what I do, it’s the wrong thing! Am I not slutty enough to appeal to you? Not cheap enough? What more can I do? I want you so much. I love you. Oh, God, I love you.”

He reached for her and pulled her down onto his lap, rocking her. He wiped her tears with gentle fingers.

“Bunny, Up till now, I didn’t realize just how much you love me. That you would be willing to put yourself through this ‘performance’ for me...Look, I’ve done some really stupid, fucked-up things in my life, but the dumbest was buying into the old bullshit about sex. Allowing myself to believe that I had to shield you from my degenerate lust. I felt so dirty. So ashamed of myself.”

“Why could you screw Charlotte but not me?”

“Because I didn’t give a hoot about Charlotte, but I love you. I felt filthy, depraved. I didn’t deserve your love.”

She grasped his hand and kissed his palm, then rubbed it over her cheeks and throat.

“Does this feel dirty? Depraved? I like it when you touch me. I like to touch you. How can that be wrong?”

“It isn’t, Bunny. It was only my fucked-up head telling me it was. I was stupid. I hurt you. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“If you promise that, from now on, I’ll be the only one for you.”

“An easy promise to make and keep.”

He went to kiss her but she turned her face away.

“I must look a fright.”

He sat her down on the side of the bed and knelt before her to remove her slippers, kissing her feet as he did so.

“Cesare, don’t…”

“I must. I have so much to atone for. I beg your forgiveness.”

She stroked his hair, his beautiful, dark hair.

“I love you, Cesare.”

He stood, towering over her, her captive, her thrall.

Her soft, rounded face, streaked with tears and mascara, pierced his heart.

“My Lucrezia. My Bunny. Don’t cry.”

He began to undress. Hypnotized, she sat and stared at him, galvanized by his beauty, as he revealed himself to her. Just before he shed his underwear, she spoke shyly.

“Cesare, why are you doing this?”

“I want to come to you as I should have long ago, without shame, without hesitation. As loving and innocent as Adam and Eve.”

When his clothes lay in a pile at his feet, he knelt again and reached behind Lucrezia’s back to unhook her bra. He inhaled sharply at the sight of her lush breasts.

“Oh, God, Lucrezia,” he whispered.

He gently coaxed her to her feet and sipped her panties down her legs, pressing his lips to her warm, smooth belly, circling his arms around her hips.

“Mine. My woman.”

He rose and led her by the hand into the bathroom, where he turned on the shower and guided her into the tub with him. He held her trembling body close, murmuring to her, soothing her. He washed her with soapy, tender hands, cleansing away her mascara tears, her garish makeup, her heavy perfume, leaving her as fresh and pristine as Eve in the Garden.

“There’s my girl,” he said softly, delightedly. “My beautiful Lucrezia.”

She reached for him, caressing his long body, gliding her hands over his smooth chest and shoulders and belly.

“Oh, Cesare,” she sighed, and he bent his head to kiss her.

“We’re naked and clean together,” he whispered. “Finally.”

They stepped out of the tub and dried each other with soft towels.

Cesare laid his hand on Lucrezia’s cheek and kissed her tenderly.

“Will it please you to come with me, my lady?” he asked, and held out his hand. He closed his fingers around hers and led her into the bedroom.

“Let me look at you, Lucrezia. Let me touch you.”

She lowered her eyelashes and looked away, blushing. He raised her chin to gaze into her eyes.

“Don’t be shy. You’re so beautiful. I want to see every inch of you.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and drew her to stand between his thighs. He ran light hands over her satiny throat and shoulders, and then down her breasts, stroking and caressing them. At first, her body shivered, but then relaxed under his touch.

“My Bunny, my Baby,” he murmured, and bent forward to suckle the nipples that had hardened beneath his fingers.

“Oh, Cesare,” Lucrezia whispered, and laid her cheek against his head, fondling the long, dark curls that she loved. “You make me feel so good.”

His tongue traced circles around her areolas, first the left one, then the right. When he let go of her breasts, it was to press kisses down her belly. He stroked her soft pubic patch of blonde hair and carefully, lovingly, spread open her cleft, pink and delicate as a rosebud. He touched his fingertip to her clitoris, rubbing softly, and was gratified to hear her tiny cry of pleasure. He slid off the bed and onto his knees before her, wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing her closer to him.

When his mouth touched her, she jumped, startled at the sensations she felt.

He caressed her back and her round backside, lulling her. His moans of enjoyment reassured her.

 _‘Pineapple’_ flashed through her mind.

His tongue licked and probed her secret places. His teeth gently nibbled. When he paused and raised his face to look at hers, his lips were slick with her juices. She bent to kiss him and tasted her own self.

“I love you, Cesare,” she whispered. “I want to see you now.”

He stood up and guided her onto the bed and then stretched out alongside her.

“Look at me. Baby. Touch me. Whatever you want. I’m yours.”

Straddling his knees, her eyes wide with excitement, she skimmed trembling fingers over Cesare’s smooth chest, across his collar bones, into the hollow of his throat and onto his hard pectorals with their small, coppery, oval nipples. When she began to stroke them, he groaned his pleasure. Encouraged, emboldened, she bent over him and pressed kisses to his chest, then circled his nipples with her tongue. He ran his hand down the ivory curve of her spine while she traced the silky line of black hair that ran from his navel to his pubic hair. His cock jutted up from his belly, commanding her attention. She wrapped her hand around it.

“Help me, Cesare,” she murmured. “Show me what to do.”

He covered her hand with his and guided her, his breathing quickening as his arousal increased.

“Cesare,” she sighed. “Let me. Let me.”

He watched, hypnotized, as she leaned forward and opened her soft lips.

His body arched when he felt her mouth encompass him, and he grasped handfuls of the gleaming blonde hair that spread over his belly.

Thrilled with his obvious liking, she continued sliding her lips slowly over the entire length of his shaft.

“Bunny,” he gasped, finally. “Stop. Please. I’m about to come.”

“Yes, yes. Do it,” she replied, momentarily releasing her suction on him.

“No. Not yet. I want to come inside you.”

She raised her head, her eyes locking with his, and smiled.

“I want that too.”

He reached for her and gently tugged her up beside him, holding her close and kissing her hotly, his tongue pushing between her lips. She wound her arms around him, savoring the taste of his mouth, the scent of his fine, virile body.

“Do you want me, Cesare?”

“Since the first moment I saw you. I’ve been a fool to make us wait so long.”

“Now, please. Let’s not wait any longer.”

“I brought condoms. Let me get…”

“No. No condoms. I’ve been taking the Pill.”

“You have? Why?”

“So we can make love without barriers between us.”

“Bunny, you amaze me. You really love me?”

“Cesare, there are no limits to my love for you.”

“I love you the same. When you left me, I thought I would die.”

“I wanted to die too. I knew I couldn’t live without you.”

“We belong together, Lucrezia. I’ll never let you go. Don’t you let go either.”

“I’m here. Forever.”

He began to kiss her throat and then her breasts, mouthing her nipples while his hand went between her thighs to caress her there. Her breathing quickened. He replaced his fingers with his mouth, circling her clitoris with his tongue, making her sob with eagerness.

“Now, Cesare. Please!”

Fearful of crushing her, he crouched on elbows and knees over her, devouring her mouth with his. She reached down between their bodies and grasped his cock, smooth as velvet, hard as iron, and stroked it in time with the rhythm of her beating heart. A big, thick liquid drop appeared on the tip and she caught it on her finger and sucked it.

“Oh, Jesus, Bunny,” he moaned. “You make me so hot. I want you so bad.”

“Now, Cesare. Don’t make me wait a moment longer. You won’t hurt me.”

She pulled him down onto her, embracing him tightly and winding her legs around his.

“You’re so tiny, Lucrezia. Are you sure I’m not hurting you?”

“I love how you feel on top of me. You’re so strong, so powerful. Take me, Cesare. Make me your own.”

He gripped his shaft and rubbed it against the slick, wet heat of her entrance, causing her to whimper.

_‘She’s ready,’ he thought._

He covered her panting mouth with his and then whispered against her lips, “I love you. Lucrezia.”

With a gentle thrust of his hips, he pushed the tip of his cock into her and then stopped to see her reaction. Holding his breath, he searched her face for signs of pain, of hurt, of fright.

She slid her arms around him.

“I need you, Cesare. Don’t hold back.”

He let his body relax and eased his cock the rest of the way inside her.

God! She was sublime, snug and wet and satiny, gripping him like a welcoming embrace.

“You’re so big,” she purred. “You make me feel filled up.”

He grinned, flattered and beguiled by her praise.

“I’ll give it to you good, Baby. I’ll give you all you want.”

Now certain that he was not hurting her, he gave free reign to himself, pulsing his hips in long, slow thrusts back and forth, delighting when he felt her match his movements with her own.

Beneath him, she whispered, of her love for him, of the joy his body was giving hers. He began to thrust more quickly, harder. His hand found her breast, cupping it, his finger circling the nipple.

“Oh, Cesare,” she cried out suddenly, and he stopped moving, cradling her against him as she came, her glorious, slick vault contracting around his cock.

Her shivering body arched into his. He kissed her panting mouth.

“Lucrezia, my love,” he breathed into her ear. Her arms tightened around his neck and then she went limp.

“I love you, Cesare,” she said simply.

“I love you, Lucrezia.”

He kissed her lips and her throat and her eyelids, and then resumed his rhythmic thrusts as she circled her arms and legs more closely around him.

How soft her body felt, how receptive, how yielding. She belonged to him now. She was his. Just as he belonged to her.

He uttered a short, sharp exclamation and gave his hips a hard thrust and then he came, hugely, abundantly, ferociously, spilling his seed into her in a deluge, a torrent. She felt his cock twitch inside her and gasped at the sensation of it, pulling him more deeply into her, tightening her legs around his.

He slumped onto her body, sated, his face against her neck, breathing hard.

She began to weep, helplessly, openly.

“Lucrezia,” he began. “What...?”

“Cesare. My love.  I’m crying because I’m overwhelmed with happiness. I have you. You’re mine. And I belong to you.”

“Mine forever. Oh, Bunny, I love you.”

They lay joined together for some while, whispering endearments and promises, until he finally, reluctantly, withdrew from her body.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked gently.

“No, not at all. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. Like we’re meant for each other.”

“We are. Oh, Baby Bunny, you’re mine. All mine.”

“Forever. And you belong to me.”

He reached for a box of tissues on the bedside table and wiped himself off, then tended to her.

“You made me come so hard,” he murmured.

“You felt so good, so big. Are all men like you?”

He chuckled.

“I don’t know. I don’t look at other guy’s dicks.”

“Well, I want to look at yours,” she said and playfully pushed him onto his back.

Cooing with delight, she reached between his legs and cupped him, caressing gently.

“It looks so different now,” she exclaimed.

“Give me a few minutes,” he assured her, “and it’ll be just like it was before.”

“How many times can you do it?”

“As many times as you want.”

“Won’t you get tired, Cesare?”

“Never tired of you. Never tired of pleasing you.”

"Know why I wanted us to be here?  At the Bonfire Inn?  Because it was at a bonfire that we first came so close to making love."

Cesare sighed.

"I blamed Mick for messing things up then, but I was the one who messed up."

"Now we've made it right.  At a Bonfire."

He kissed her and then got up from the bed, going to the pile of his discarded clothing.  Lucrezia sank back into the pillows, enjoying the display of his long, graceful body, his beautiful back and neat, tight ass. Her man. Hers now. Hers alone.

He returned to the bed and stretched out beside her.

“I brought your ring. Will you take it back? Take me back?”

Tears came to her eyes.

“I should have never let you go, Cesare.”

“I gave you every reason to. Never again. I swear.”

He slipped the bunny ring onto her left index finger and then kissed her.

“Would you like to go back to my place and make love some more? I want to spend all day in bed with you, but I want it to be in my bed, our bed.”

“Ours? You mean it?”

“Oh, for sure. Bunny, I can’t stand the thought of not being able to be with you always. I want us to live together."

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I want you to move in with me. But because of your age, we’ll need your parents’ consent.”

“Surely I’m old enough to do what I want.”

“Not legally.”

Her chin came up.

“But I’m almost seventeen…”

Cesare burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "OOOO I need a dirty woman  
> OOOO I need a dirty girl"
> 
> "Young Lust" written by Roger Waters et al, performed by Pink Floyd from "Pink Floyd: The Wall", Pink Floyd Music Publisher, 1979


	15. The Blessed Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein callow boys become men (supposedly)

Virginia pursed her lips until they turned white. Preston, lying beside her in bed, closed his eyes and took a breath. Although he did not want to, he asked her, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Perfectly.”

“All right, then, I’m going to turn out the light and go to sleep.”

In the dark, he settled down on his pillow.

_Wait for it…_

“Preston!”

He sat up and switched the lamp back on.

“Yes, Ginny?”

“How could you? How could you agree to let our daughter move in with…”

_“That boy?”_

“Yes.”

"Surely you know your daughter. Surely you know that look she gets on her face. When her chin comes up. She’d have gone with or without our permission.”

“You could have threatened him.”

“With what? The FBI? The CIA? Standing him in the corner?”

“I don’t know. Something.”

“They’re in love, Ginny. All we can do is support them and hope for the best. Keep communications open. If it doesn’t work out, let Lucrezia know she’s welcome to come home.”

“But, Preston, she’ll be…”

“What?”

“Ruined.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Ginny. Get out of the fifteenth century.”

“I hoped she would go to college.”

“She and Cesare promised that she will. And they won’t be living far away from us.”

“Preston, did you know that when Elvis Presley wanted Priscilla to move in with him when she was just a teenager, he promised not to have sex with her until they were married. Do you suppose…?”

“Ginny,” Preston sighed. “Cesare ain’t Elvis.”

 

It didn’t take much to move Lucrezia into Cesare’s apartment, because she only took her clothing and personal items with her. Cesare had made room in his closet and bought a bureau and vanity for her use. She had no intention of doing any redecorating, preferring to keep Cesare’s furnishings as they were.

“I picked most of them anyway when you first moved in,” she reminded him.

 

Saturday morning.

Cesare awoke alone in bed and stretched lazily. He had slept like a baby, having been lulled into slumber by the tender attentions of Lucrezia, who had given him such gratifying head that his toes curled. She had held him in her arms afterwards, murmuring softly to him until he fell asleep with his head on her bosom.

Lucrezia. He sighed and contemplated her with utter contentment.

Now barely seventeen, she had settled in with him and quickly established her domain. _Her_ apartment. Her _life_. _Her_ man.

He got up and pulled on a pair of undershorts and padded barefoot out of the bedroom, following his nose. Breakfast cooking. Eggs and sausages. He could hear the washer and dryer running in the small laundry room off of the kitchen. Her panties tumbling along with his boxer briefs.

_Ah, domesticity!_

Lucrezia, dressed in a short robe and fuzzy slippers, turned away from the stove when she heard Cesare approach. Her softly rounded face lit up with a welcoming smile.

“Good morning, my love. Breakfast will be ready in a minute. Are you hungry?”

“Starved.”

Lucrezia poured him a cup of coffee while he sat down at the table.

“Cesare, I thought that after breakfast, we might go to the gym, if you don’t mind.”

_Mind? Oh, **hell** no! He needed to work out, to keep from getting a gut from the way she fed him. _

“Sure. I guess you’ll swim while I do the weight circuit.”

“Yes. And then afterwards, maybe we could get some groceries and then come home and study. I have homework to do.”

“Sure, Bunny. Whatever you want.”

And in between getting the groceries put away and sitting down to school work, he had every intention of laying her like a rug.

“Bunny, be sure to put pineapple on the shopping list.”

She blushed and smiled at him.

 

Some things Cesare learned about Lucrezia when she moved in with him:

  *          Lucrezia was a very good cook.
  *          Lucrezia liked to play music and sing and dance while she cooked.
  *          Lucrezia was something of a neat freak.
  *          Lucrezia hung pantyhose and bras to dry on a towel draped over the shower curtain rod (but Cesare didn’t mind).
  *          Lucrezia could be a high-maintenance woman.
  *          Lucrezia was not a morning person.
  *          Lucrezia was never “not in the mood.”
  *          Lucrezia loved Cesare with all of her being.



 

Some things Lucrezia learned about Cesare when she moved in with him:

  *          Cesare liked to eat.
  *          Cesare watched a lot of sports on television.
  *          Cesare was something of a slob.
  *          Cesare left his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.
  *          Cesare left the toilet seat up (but Lucrezia didn’t mind).
  *          Cesare was a morning person.
  *          Cesare enjoyed giving and receiving oral sex.
  *          Cesare loved Lucrezia with all of his being.



 

 

Mick shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

“Chez, promise not to laugh when I tell you this.”

“Hoo-boy! I’ll try.”

“I’m getting married.”

_“What?”_

“Married. Me and Giulia.”

“Jesus Christ! When?”

“As soon as school lets out. I…um…I knocked her up. I offered to pay for…you know…but she got mad as hell. Said she was having the baby. She wants it.”

Mick shook his head.

“Can you imagine, Chez,” he said, his voice soft with awe and disbelief. “She wants _my_ kid. _Mine._ ”

“Well, why wouldn’t she? She loves you.”

“Me. A mutt like me. How’d I get so lucky?”

“The same way I got Lucrezia. We’re a couple of lucky bastards.”

“Her folks are ready to kill me. I’m not exactly what they had in mind for their little girl. They’re convinced that I won’t take proper care of Giulia.”

“Will you?”

“Of course I will. We’ll be living with her parents. Her old man fixed me up with a job with one of his friends, a plumbing contractor. I’m gonna be an apprentice plumber. You believe it? I’m gonna be up to my ass in shit. But as long as I don’t have to wear a suit or shave every day, I’m cool with it.”

“Mick, I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching, but you can’t be doing stupid stuff like smoking weed and getting drunk with a baby in the picture.”

“I know. I know. Giulia’s already laid down the law about that.”

“And cigarettes. You can’t be smoking around a baby either.”

Mick pushed up the sleeve of his pullover to reveal a flesh-colored square stuck onto his upper arm.

“Nicotine patch. I’m trying to quit. Haven’t had a cigarette in ten days.”

Astounded, Cesare exclaimed, “Why, Mick! You’re absolutely pussy whipped!”

“Me? You could give lessons in being pussy whipped, you fucker.”

“You know you love it, Mick.”

Mick laughed sheepishly.

“Yeah. I guess I do. So how do you like living with Lucrezia? She keeping you on a short leash?”

“Mick, my girl is a dream come true. She makes my life heaven. She loves me just as I am. I hope you’re as happy with Giulia.”

 

Mick and Giulia were married the day after she finished her junior year of school. Cesare and Lucrezia stood as witnesses. Giulia’s mother wept almost hysterically through the brief civil ceremony.

“Poor Mom.” Giulia whispered to Lucrezia. “It’s not the wedding she imagined for her only daughter. But it’s exactly what I wanted.” She rubbed her prominent belly. “Oh, the baby’s excited. She must know something’s going on. Whenever she hears Mick’s voice, she really kicks. I’m sure she’s going to be Daddy’s girl.”

 

Claire Corella was born on the birthday of her maternal grandmother, Adriana Farnese. Giulia attended a cyber academy for her last year of high school so that she could be home to attend to her newborn daughter, who instantly became the light of her grandmother’s life. So beloved was the child that her father became forever installed in the good graces of his mother-in-law for having sired her. Adriana began praising Mick, her daughter’s devoted, hard-working, good-hearted, honest, reliable husband. Giulia could only wonder at the sight of Mick squiring Adriana around, shopping with her, carrying her bags, driving her to her card club or the beauty salon.

“Mick,” Giulia exclaimed. “Feel free to say no to Mom. Tell her you have to work. I could take her to run errands.”

“No, Babe. She wants _me_ to go with her. I don’t know why, but she likes me.”

“Of course, she likes you. You go out of your way to be nice to her.”

“Well, I never got along with my own mother. She doesn’t think too much of me. It’s kind of cool to have a mom who approves of me.”

 

Cesare stood amazed. Mick Corella surrounded by women. Huckleberry Finn in the genteel clutches of the Widow Douglas and Miss Watson. Who would have ever believed it?

 

“Hey, check it out,” Tom Warner murmured to his friends, seated with him in the lobby of a movie theater on a Friday evening, waiting for their chosen show to begin. “Just coming in the door. That’s Cesare Borgia. He’s in my Accounting class at Hudson Hall.”

“Goddam,” Logan Lane hissed. “That was some cradle he robbed. She’s one hot little twinkie.”

“My sister Sarah goes to school with her,” Chuck Arbogast confided. “She tells me the girl’s name is Lucrezia, and she’s been with Cesare since she was fifteen."

 LL: Fifteen. No shit? Check out those tits. Wonder if they’re real.

CA: Sarah tells me they’re fake. I don’t know.

TW: Nah, they’re real.

CA: How do you know? What are you, a tit expert?

TW: I can spot fakes. Hers bounce when she walks. Also, fake ones are usually set way high up on a girl’s chest. Hers are lower, in a more natural spot. Hey! Earth to Lane. Put your eyes back in your head.

LL: You really think they’re hers? Really?

TW: Yeah, I do.

LL: That lucky bastard! I bet he popped her cherry too. Why couldn’t I have met her first?

CA: Wouldn’t have done you any good. You don’t have a BMW or a rich daddy.

LL: You think that’s why she’s with him?

CA: Why else? Sarah said they’re living together now.

TW: How does she know that?

CA: Lucrezia’s brother Jeff told her. And did you know that Giulia Farnese, Lucrezia’s best friend, got married to Cesare’s buddy, Mick Corella. Now there’s a real freak show. Giulia is the hottest chick I’ve ever seen, and she married this ugly-ass mutt. He got her pregnant! I tell you, it’s criminal.

LL: That lucky bastard!

 

Cesare bought a large tub of popcorn and smiled as he fed Lucrezia a big kernel, dripping with butter. Locking eyes with him, she caught his hand in hers, drew his thumb into her mouth and sucked on it, then released it and licked her lips.

Three pairs of eyes bugged and three jaws sagged. Three voices proclaimed in unison:

“That lucky bastard.”

 

At Mick’s request, Cesare met him at a quiet tavern which they liked to frequent.

“What’s up, Bro? Everything okay with the baby?”

“Claire’s fine. It’s her mother who’s the problem.”

Cesare, surprised, frowned. Lucrezia hadn’t mentioned any difficulties that Giulia was having.

“What’s wrong, Mick?”

“Giulia is pissed at me, Chez. Really pissed. She wants to move into our own place. I tell her that’s a stupid idea. It’s great living with her parents.”

“Don’t you think it’s natural for Giulia to want her own home?”

“Man, we don’t pay rent or utilities or food. Her parents take care of everything. Even the baby’s diapers.”

“Mick, are you seriously okay with your wife and baby living on the tab of someone else?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re supposed to be an adult now.”

“Well, fuck, Chez. I got a job, I quit smoking cigarettes, I quit smoking pot. What more am I supposed to do?"

“Take care of your family. Provide for them.”

“They’re provided for.”

“Maybe, but not by you.”

“Chez, it’s not been easy for me. All Giulia cares about is the baby. Always the baby. I feel like a fifth wheel. Like I gave her the baby and now I’m no longer of use to her.”

“Come on, Mick. I’m sure Claire needs a lot of looking after. But Giulia still loves you.”

“Does she? She never wants to have sex anymore. She’s too tired. Too stressed. Or, we go to make love and Claire wakes up. It’s like she senses it. The minute Giulia and I start something, the kid starts crying.”

“It must be a tough adjustment.”

“You have no idea. I’m dying on the vine here. You’re lucky. You’re getting fucked a lot.”

“How do you know that, Mick?”

“I can tell just by looking at you. That swagger. And you smell like pure testosterone.”

“Well, you live with your own woman now. Surely...”

“Giulia isn’t mine anymore. She belongs entirely to the baby. It’s not fair. Her boobs got nice and big, but not for me. She’s breastfeeding, and her boobs are all…milky.”

“Some guys might find that hot.”

Mick wrinkled his nose.

“Would you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“You’re a sicko, Chez.”


	16. Dissemination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Lucrezia becomes able to believe

Emerging from the shower, Lucrezia heard the play-by-play of a television announcer broadcasting a football game that Cesare was watching in the living room. Clad in a belted white silk robe printed with bright orange poppies, she went to join him but stopped dead in her tracks, astounded by the image presented before her. Her mouth fell open and her breathing quickened as she took in the sight of Cesare, wearing only undershorts, lying sprawled out upon the sofa, one hand tucked behind his head, one knee casually bent. Cesare. Beauteous. Olympian. A young god taking his ease. Unintentionally, but undeniably, he was displaying for Lucrezia the alluring, provocative body which never failed to inflame her passions. Long legs and arms lightly flecked with dark hair. Patches of soft, spicy black fur in his armpits. His fine shoulders and smooth chest and hard belly. The big, flagrant bulge in the front of his underwear.

When Cesare heard Lucrezia’s footsteps, he turned his face toward her and started to sit up, but she hurried to kneel beside the sofa, pushing him back down into a reclining position. She eagerly reached to cup his package in her warm hand. He smiled, pleased but a bit bewildered.

“Bunny, what…?”

“Hush. Let me. Let me,” she whispered.

His cock took almost no time to spring to exuberant attention under her touch. He raised his hips to allow her to remove his shorts. She bent and brushed her lips over the tip of his dick, causing him to groan with delight. Through the thin fabric of her robe, he caressed her slim back as she took more of his shaft into her mouth.

“Oh, God, Bunny! Suck me. Suck me.”

His fingers pressed harder into her flesh as his arousal increased.

Lucrezia’s soft lips were magical, her tongue pure sorcery as she teased and probed. When she cupped his gonads to gently caress them, he covered her hand with his and arched his back, his breathing harsh and ragged. He pulsed his hips as she slid her mouth along his cock from base to tip, speeding up her rhythm as he neared his peak. With an inarticulate cry, he came explosively, his hand clenching on the back of her neck, his entire body shaking. She continued to massage him, encouraging him to fully empty himself. When he collapsed onto the couch, trembling and wilted, she discreetly wiped her mouth with a tissue she plucked from a box on a nearby end table. He simply came too copiously and too fast for her to swallow.

She locked her eyes with his and smiled, her heart bursting with love for him. He stroked her cheek with his trembling fingers.

“Thank you, my Baby Bunny. I love you,” he whispered.

She raised herself up from her knees and stretched out on the sofa beside Cesare, cradling him in her arms, his head resting on her breasts. She stroked his hair and crooned to him.

His voice was soft, almost childlike, when he spoke to her. His eyes beseeched her.

“Do you love me, Bunny? Will you always love me? Will you stay with me?”

She tightened her arms around him.

“Forever, my love. We’ll be together forever.”

He sighed and allowed his body to slacken onto hers, burrowing his nose against her throat.

“I love you so much,” he murmured. “I’d die without you.”

She continued to caress him. Her Cesare. So strong and manly and virile, but at this moment, completely defenseless, completely hers, clinging to her, needing her.

Lucrezia’s breath caught in her chest.

 

_He really **does** love me, she thought._


	17. Tuff Enuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Mick finds the going gets tough.

_I would walk ten miles on my hands and knees_  
_Ain't no doubt about it, baby, it's you I aim to please_  
 _I'd wrestle with a lion and a grizzly bear_  
 _It's my life, baby, but I don't care_  
  
_Ain't that tuff enuff_  
 _Ain't that tuff enuff_

 “Tuff Enuff” by Kim Wilson, Performed by The Fabulous Thunderbirds, CBS Associated Records/Epic Associated, 1986

 

_I have a face I cannot show_  
_I make the rules up as I go_  
 _Just try and love me if you can_  
 _Are you strong enough to be my man?_

 “Strong Enough” by Sheryl Crow, A&M Records, 1993

 

 Entering the ballroom where they would be celebrating New Year’s Eve together, Lucrezia and Giulia and Cesare and Mick made some mental observations.

 

Lucrezia:

_God, how I wish I looked like Giulia! She’s stunning in that black dress. What a figure! So tall and slim and graceful. Like a queen. So feminine. She has those gorgeous long legs that look fantastic with her high, high heels. She’s the most beautiful woman in the place. She could be a Vogue model._

 

Giulia:

_God, how I wish I looked like Lucrezia!   She’s stunning in that red dress. What a body! Those breasts! Those curves. Like a fertility goddess. She’s so completely female. That blonde hair and flawless ivory skin. She’s the most beautiful woman in the place. She could be a Victoria’s Secret model._

 

Cesare:

_Just look at my girl. She’s a knockout. I shouldn’t have let her run on ahead with Giulia. The minute she entered the place, just about every guy in the place snapped his head to stare at her. I’ll have to let them all know right off the bat that she’s off limits. Establish my perimeter._

 

Mick:

_Where’s the beer?_

 

Cesare and Lucrezia came by to visit Mick and Giulia at home. Adrianna, ever the gracious hostess, served them refreshments and then excused herself from their company.

Cesare picked up Claire, dressed in footed pajamas made of a fabric printed with stars and moons, and held her on his lap, tickling her gently and making her laugh with delight.

“Claire de Lune,” he said, and kissed her curls, silky and light brown like her mother’s.

“Claire de Lune?” Mick made a face. “What’s that?”

“It’s just a little play on words,” Cesare replied. ‘Clair de Lune’ is French for ‘moonlight.’ It’s the name of a musical composition by Claude Debussy.”

“Who?”

“Never mind, Mick,” Giulia smiled. “It’s lovely, Cesare. It suits her.”

 

Giulia, wearing a lacy white slip, stood before her overflowing bedroom closet to choose a dress to wear to a Tennessee Williams play that she was going to attend with Lucrezia on a Sunday afternoon. Mick drew near and embraced her from behind, inhaling the fragrance of her long, gleaming hair.

“You sure are pretty, Babe,” he murmured.

“I feel like a cat on a hot tin roof,” Giulia chuckled softly.

“Huh?”

“Never mind, Mick.”

 

“Jules! Wake up. Claire’s crying.”

Giulia turned over in bed, covering her head with her pillow.

“Aw, Mick, can’t you get up with her just this once?”

“I can’t nurse her.”

“Can you at least bring her over to me? Please?”

Grumbling, Mick arose from the bed, padded over to Claire’s crib and picked up the fussing infant. Bouncing her in his arms, he carried her over to her mother, along with a fresh diaper that he snatched up from a nearby stack.

“Here. Now will you please shut her up? I have to work in the morning.”

“I have to get up too. I have an online class at 8 AM.”

“Maybe so, but at least you can go back to bed afterwards.”

“No I can’t. I have to tend Claire.”

“Get your mother to do it.”

“She’s _our_ baby, Mick. Our responsibility.” 

“Jesus, honey, do you have to do everything yourself? Is it wrong to ask your mother to help out now and then?”

“Well, it’s wrong to think we can get away with doing absolutely nothing for my parents.”

“Do nothing? Don’t I wait on your mother hand and foot? Don’t I?”

Giulia sighed. The same old argument, yet again.

“Yes, Mick. You do. But that’s not what I meant. We contribute nothing financially to my parents, so I certainly don’t want to take greater advantage of them than we already do.”

“Your mother tells me she wouldn’t dream of taking money from us. She’s happy we live with her. She says she loves looking after Claire. For Christ’s sake, will you quit worrying?”

“I’d be happier in our own home. Why don’t you want our own place?”

“Are you nuts? We have it good here. The house is great. Everything is free. Your mom is the onsite babysitter.”

“She spends more time with you than she does with Claire.”

“She likes me. Don’t you want your mother to like me?”

“Of course I do, Mick, but I don’t want you to exploit her.”

“Hell, Babe, she exploits _me_. I’m always having to pick her up someplace, or go with her shopping or some shit like that. She always wants _me_. Not you, not your dad, not Alex. Me. How come?”

“Mick, I really don’t know.”

“Well, for whatever reason, she prefers me. What can I do?”

“She makes it worth your while to keep her company, doesn’t she? Look at all the presents she’s bought you. A leather jacket. A gold wrist watch. A car, for heaven’s sake!”

“She gave me the car so I can drive her places. I don’t ask her for a goddamn thing.”

“I know you don’t, darling. I don’t want to argue. Let's just go to sleep.”

 

Cesare picked up Mick at the Farnese house and together they drove to their favored sports bar to have a few beers. They settled in across from each other in a booth near a wall of televisions, each one displaying a different sporting event.

“I’m glad you called, Chez,” Mick grinned. “I was supposed to watch Claire while Jules and Lucrezia are out grocery shopping. Grandma was only too happy to take over. I feel like I’m cutting school. Don’t tell my wife, or she’ll be pissed at me.”

“You should have said something when I invited you out. I don’t want to get into a situation between you and Giulia.”

“Nah, it’s cool. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt me. Ha ha. Her mother won’t rat me out. She’s a great old gal.”

“But if you told Giulia you would stay home with the baby, you probably should have done that.”

“Look. Claire is being well looked after. Let’s just relax and hang out, huh?”

Cesare filled two glasses from the pitcher of beer that had been brought to their table by a comely young woman whose long black hair was pulled into a pert ponytail.

“Thank you, darlin’,” Mick grinned at her, shoving a crisp bill into her apron pocket. “Check back on us in a little while.”

She smiled and scrunched her freckled nose, displaying a pretty dimple.

“I’ll be sure to,” she said, and departed.

“So, Chez,” Mick began. “I gotta ask. Does Lucrezia shave her pubes? Giulia gets these Brazilian wax jobs, and her pussy looks just like Claire’s. I can’t get used to that.”

Cesare nearly upset his glass of beer.

“Jesus Christ, Mick! You shouldn’t be telling me such things.”

“Why not?”

“Because Giulia is your wife.”

“So? You and I always compare notes about chicks. You didn’t squawk when I talked to you about Charlotte.”

“Because I didn’t care about Charlotte. And neither did you. But Lucrezia and Giulia are something else entirely.”

“Then I guess I shouldn’t ask if Lucrezia likes it dog style.”

“Why would you even go there?”

“’Cause we’re buds, Chez. I thought we could talk about anything. You know, down and dirty.”

“Well, yeah, sure, only not about…that.”

“You mean, you’d let women come between you and me, your lifelong friend?”

“Not just ‘women.’ Our women. Lucrezia is sacred to me. Some things I will not talk about. Not even with you.”

“Well, how about if I just talked to you about Giulia?”

“I wouldn’t listen. I have some respect for your wife, Mick, even if you don’t.”

“Well, excuse the hell out of me.”

“How about we change the subject?”

“You know, Chez, Jules is at it again. ‘Why can’t we have our own house? Wah, wah, wah!’ I don’t get it at all. She always had everything provided to her. She never lacked for anything. Always had someone to do the cleaning and the cooking and stuff. Why the hell would she want to leave that?”

“Because she isn’t a little girl anymore, Mick. She wants to establish her own household, her own life. I’m honestly surprised, as independent as you always were, that you aren’t in agreement with her on this.”

“For once in my life, I have it easy. Is it wrong for me to be enjoying this?”

“Not in and of itself, but your wife isn’t happy with your situation. That’s where the problems come in. When you talk with her about the house thing, what do you say to her?”

“I tell her to look around, see what she’s got and quit whining.”

“Jesus Christ, Mick!”

“Well, what am I supposed to say?”

“Your wife is unhappy.”

“Nothing I can do about it.”

Cesare’s jaw dropped.

“You’re the _only_ one who can do something about it. Giulia deserves that you listen to her. Acknowledge her wants and needs.”

“Okay, so I acknowledge them. Then I tell her they’re stupid.”

Cesare snorted and shook his head.

“Mick, you’re a total asshole.”

“Well, what would you do if Lucrezia suddenly took it into her head that she wanted to move out of your place? Never mind. I know already. If she told you she wanted to live on the fucking moon, you’d be blasting off the next day. You’re whipped, Bro. Totally whipped.”

“Why is it whipped for me to want Lucrezia to be happy?”

“When what she wants is idiotic but you go along with it anyway, that’s being whipped.”

“Mick, I just don’t get you in this. You’ve always been so independent, yet you’re acting fat, dumb and happy living with Giulia’s parents. Have you just gotten lazy?”

Mick’s face flushed red.

“Lazy? Listen, man. You know I go to work every day. I run ragged catering to Giulia’s mother. I changed so much of my life, but here you are, telling me I need to do more. Give me a break, huh?”

 

Once she was no longer breastfeeding, Giulia eagerly accepted Lucrezia’s invitation to attend water aerobics classes with her several evenings a week at the gym. After an invigorating session, the two friends soaked in the whirlpool while Cesare and Mick worked out in the weight room.

“I really appreciate getting some exercise,” Giulia said. “I’m finally able to get into my pre-pregnancy clothes again. Nursing Claire was wonderful, but it kept me nice and plump the whole time I was doing it.”

“Giulia,” Lucrezia scoffed. “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Mick loves you just as you are.”

“Does he? I’m not so sure of that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m afraid I’m on Mick’s shit list at the moment. We’ve been arguing about getting our own place. I want to and he doesn’t.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Truthfully, my parents make it too easy for us. They pay for everything, refuse to accept a dime from us. Mom is happy to take care of Claire whenever I need her to babysit. She won’t hear of anyone else looking after her granddaughter.”

“Not even me? I have to say, I’m disappointed.”

“Mom is wonderful, but I get the feeling that she wants to keep Mick and me from becoming independent adults, Lucrezia.”

“Why would she do that?”

“I’m not sure. Mostly I think she fears we won’t take proper care of the baby.”

“Giulia, you’re a wonderful parent. You’re patient and caring and devoted. Surely your mother sees that.”

“You’re kind, Lu.”

“Maybe your mother is afraid that Mick won’t take proper care of you. You said he wasn’t exactly her first choice of a husband for you.”

“But she adores Mick now. She won’t make a move without him.”

“Is it possible that’s her way of keeping track of him? Making sure he’s behaving himself? Is it possible that’s why your parents make it so easy for you to continue to live with them? To guarantee that you and Claire have a roof over your heads and food on the table?”

Giulia furrowed her brow, thinking hard.

“Hmmm. There’s a lot of truth in what you say. Mom has always been the manipulative kind. She could very well be weaving her web around Mick and me.”

“I’m sure it’s with the most loving intentions.”

“Oh, no doubt. But I’m going to have a talk with her. She’s going to have to accept that her daughter is grown up now. What really puzzles me is Mick’s attitude. He usually lets me call the shots because he’s pretty much indifferent to most things, but on this, he’s adamant. He wants to keep on living with my parents.”

“What does he tell you?”

“That, since we don’t have to spend any money, we’d be foolish to move out. I don’t have to cook or clean or do laundry. We have in-house child care with my mom. But, Lu, I want to take care of my own household, look after my family. Am I crazy for wanting that?”

“I think it’s very mature of you. I love doing those things for Cesare. And he’s happy taking care of me.”

“So you think it’s natural for me to want my own home?”

“Of course. But, looking at it from Mick’s point of view, I can see that it would be a hard argument for you to make to him.”

“It wouldn’t be if he wasn’t an overgrown adolescent.”

“Giulia! I’m shocked to hear you say that about Mick. You always told me that he was for real. Strong and independent.”

“Lu, I really misjudged him. Sure, he’s got a heart of gold and he’d do anything for a friend. But Mick is a sprinter, not a marathoner. He’s great in the short term, but falls short when he has to commit to a long-term prospect. Like marriage and fatherhood. I think he’s losing interest already.”

Giulia’s eyes filled with tears. Lucrezia reached for her hand.

“Oh, no. You can’t mean that.”

“I wish I didn’t. What I saw as Mick’s independence is nothing more than his inability to truly bond with anyone. It’s no wonder, considering that his father abandoned him when he was a baby and his mother kicked him out of the house when he was just a teenager. I understand all that, but I can’t cope with the distance he keeps from me and the baby. There’s a wall between us. I can’t compensate or fill in the blanks anymore. I thought, given all his good qualities, that I could make do, but I can’t. I’m nothing more to him than a mistake he made, something he got stuck with and he’s now making the best of, like he always does. He tolerates me. He _endures_ me.”

Hearing Mick’s voice as he and Cesare arrived from the weight room, Giulia quickly brushed away the tears that had coursed down her cheeks.

“Don’t say anything, Lu. Please.”

“Of course not, but, oh, honey…”

 

Cesare and Mick joined the women in the hot tub. Lucrezia automatically slid forward on the ledge upon which she was seated and Cesare slipped in behind her, settling her on his lap and wrapping his arm around her collarbones. She leaned her head back against his chest and slid her dainty instep along the length of his leg.

Giulia felt a pang of envy squirm in her stomach at the frank, matter-of-fact intimacy between the couple. Their love for each other was manifest.  Mick sat on the opposite side of the hot tub, across from Giulia.

_It might as well be the Atlantic Ocean between us, she thought. That’s how far away he seems from me._

 

Driving home from the gym, Mick glanced over at Giulia.

“You know, Babe, ever since Cesare has been with Lucrezia, he’s gotten so whipped that I don’t even recognize him. He may as well have her name branded on his ass. Did you see him this evening? It was embarrassing.”

Giulia sighed.

“I think it’s beautiful. He loves her so much that he’s not the least bit shy or hesitant about showing it. He doesn’t care who knows that she’s the most important thing in his life. He doesn’t have to have her name branded onto his skin because it’s branded on his heart. I only wish you loved me like that.”

Mick huffed a surprised breath.

“I _do_ love you like that. Can’t you tell?”

“Honestly, no, Mick. I can’t. You act like you couldn’t care less about me.”

“Babe…”

He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away.

“Don’t, Mick. Just don’t. I’m sorry I got pregnant and made you feel you had to marry me. I’m sorry you feel trapped. Why don’t you just leave? Take back your life. We’ll both be better off if you do.”

“Babe…”

Giulia wrapped her arms around herself and turned her face towards the window. She and Mick drove home in silence.

 

Lucrezia had just handed Cesare a cup of hot chocolate when she heard a knock at the door.

“Who the hell…?” Cesare growled, as he stalked to answer the tapping. He glanced through the peephole and turned to Lucrezia in surprise.

“It’s Mick. What could he want?”

He opened the door and admitted their late-night visitor.

“Hey, Chez, Lu. Sorry to bother you, but I kind of need your help. Jules…well, Jules kicked me out.”

“No!” Cesare blurted. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Oh, sure, blame me. It always has to be my fault.”

“Well, isn’t it?”

“Maybe. I dunno. Anyway, can I crash here for tonight? I’ve got nowhere else to go.”

Lucrezia headed for the kitchen to make another cup of hot chocolate.

 

“So,” Mick said, out of Lucrezia’s presence. “We’re driving home from the gym and Jules starts squawking about how I’m not lovey-dovey enough towards her, like you are with Lucrezia, and the next thing I know, my ass is out on the sidewalk.”

“Mick, we had this conversation once before when Charlotte dumped you. I told you then that you can’t behave like a clod towards a woman and expect her to tolerate it. Giulia is a fabulous woman. She’s given you what you never had before. A home. Love. Please don’t tell me you’ve fucked that up.”

“What does she want from me, Chez?”

“To know that you love her as much as she loves you.”

“I do. I told her that.”

“Do you show her?”

“I don’t act like you, if that’s what you mean. It’s just not my style. But I do enough.”

“Well, somewhere between what you think you do and what she needs from you is a big fat disconnect. If she was unhappy with you tonight, why did you leave her?”

“Leave her?  She threw me out.”

“What did she say, Mick? Her exact words.”

“She said I should just leave. We’d both be better off if I did.”

“You asshole. She didn’t throw you out. Things got a little tough and you cut and ran.”

“Well, what should I have done, Chez?”

“Leaving is the last thing she wanted you to do, you idiot. She was begging you to make things right between you. Do you love her?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then fight for her. Giulia needs you.”

“No she doesn’t. I’m just a lowlife mutt that she felt sorry for.”

“Mick Corella!” Carrying a cup of hot chocolate, Lucrezia entered the living room and sat down beside Mick. “Don’t you dare say such things. Ever. Giulia fell in love with you because she recognized your strength and your good heart. She needs to know that you aren’t afraid to love her the same way she loves you.”

“I do, Lucrezia. I really do.”

“Mick, there’s something lacking in your behavior towards her. It’s like you’re so convinced you’ll lose her that you’re making sure it will happen. You’re guarding your heart so you won’t be hurt when she does leave you.”

“Lu, be honest. Who could care about me? Nobody ever has. Except for Chez, and he doesn’t count.”

“Why don’t I count?” Cesare demanded. “Are you saying I just have bad taste? Let me tell you, Bro, I’ve wanted you as my friend all our lives.”

Lucrezia took Mick by the hand.

“As long as you hold back, as long as you’re afraid to really love Giulia, you’re guaranteeing that your marriage will fail. You’ve got to love fearlessly. No equivocating. No escape hatch. Can you do that?”

“I don’t know, Lu.”

“Is your marriage worth it? Is Claire worth it? Is Giulia worth it?”

“Yeah. Hell, yeah! They’re everything to me.”

“Then go home, Mick. Tell Giulia what you’ve just told me. And act on it.”

When Giulia heard Mick’s car pull into the driveway, she went to the bedroom window and looked down. Her heart constricted when she saw his upturned face, desperately searching for her through the glass. His eyes pleaded with her. His lips moved. _“I’m sorry.”_


	18. A Pair Of Pussies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein machismo is put to a severe test

Giulia’s voice on the telephone line was almost breathless.

“When Mick came home last night, Lu, he was so contrite. I’d never seen him like that before. It almost reminded me of Saint Paul, when he was knocked off of his horse and ‘saw the light,’ so to speak. Mick seemed to have had an epiphany.”

“And what did the epiphany reveal to him?”

“That he himself was the stumbling block in our marriage. He was so sure that I would lose interest in him and leave him that he was subconsciously forcing it to happen to get it over with. We had a really, really good talk and cleared the air about a lot of things.”

Lucrezia smiled to herself.

“It sounds like he had some good insights.”

“Lu, I know Mick went to your apartment last night and I have no doubt he talked to Cesare and you, that you two are the source of his insights. All I can say is thanks. Thanks for being there for us.”

“Giulia, we merely returned a favor. Without your friendship, who knows where Cesare and I would be now?”

“You two were meant for each other. You’d have found your way.”

“You and Mick will too. I just know it.”

“Well, one good conversation won’t cure all that ails us, but it’s been a great start. I had no idea how scared Mick was of losing me. He really believed that there was no way I could love him. Poor Mick! He has such a sense of inferiority. He kept describing himself as an ugly mutt. It broke my heart to hear it.”

“Do you think he understands your feelings for him now?”

“Well, I told him that, even if he can’t love himself, I can, and I do. I asked him to try to accept that. He made love to me last night so sweetly. I still tingle to think about it.”

“Oh, Jules, I’m so glad. You and Mick are such great people, and you have a wonderful little girl. You belong together.”

 

Mick’s back was to Giulia when he took off his shirt in their bedroom a few days later. Her mouth dropped open when he turned to her. On one side of his chest was a tattoo which read ‘Giulia’ above a red heart with a Cupid’s arrow through it. On the other side, another tattoo said ‘Claire’ over a crescent moon.

“They’re not exactly a brand on my ass, but they’re close to my heart. Just like you and Claire are. Always. I love you, Babe.”

Giulia dissolved into tears.

“I love you too, Mick.”

 

When Mick picked up his mother-in-law from her card club, she was surprised when he got out of the car, came around and opened the door for her. As Adriana was adjusting her seat belt, she was astounded to hear the music that came from the CD player.

“Why, Mick! Is that ‘Clair de Lune’ you’re playing?”

“Um…yeah. My friend Cesare calls the baby ‘Claire de Lune’ and Giulia likes that. So I thought I’d give a listen.”

“And what do you think of it?”

“It’s pretty. I can kind of picture a big, shiny moon up in the sky, among a bunch of clouds and stuff.”

“That’s what the piece always suggested to me, too. I’m so glad you discovered it.”

“Me too. Do you know of any other tunes that Giulia likes especially? I’d like to hear them.”

“Of course, Mick. I’ll gather up some of her favorite CDs. I’m pleased that you’re taking an interest in music.”

“Yeah.”

 

Alexander Farnese proposed marriage to Diana Cooper, a charming brunette whom he had met in one of his classes. As Diana came from a “good” family from the right side of the tracks, her future husband’s parents were delighted to welcome her. Giulia bit her tongue when she heard her mother run on and on about Diana’s virtues, being grateful that Adriana had finally come to realize Mick’s true character.

Diana was a confirmed oenophile, so her parents arranged an engagement party for her and Alex, requesting that guests bring a bottle of their favorite wine to help the couple start their own collection.

On the day of the celebration, Cesare left Giulia and Lucrezia dressing and grooming at his apartment and drove over to pick up Mick. He pulled into the driveway and honked his horn. Mick emerged, looking uncomfortable in a suit and rather rumpled tie. When he saw Cesare behind the wheel, he froze, openmouthed, and then laughed. Pointed and laughed. He got into the car and stared at Cesare in disbelief.

“Don’t say a word, Mick.” Cesare’s face burned. “Not one goddam word. I’m warning you.”

“What the fuck happened to you, Bro?” Mick sputtered, incredulous.

“Lucrezia and Giulia’s bright idea.”

“And you let them do this to you? You pussy!”

“I didn’t have a choice. They think it’s great. Really cool.”

“Oh, man, you poor bastard. You have to show up looking like that. I am so glad I’m not you.”

“Yeah, well don’t speak too soon, smartass. Giulia is bringing her implements to the restaurant parking lot.  She's making you her next victim.”

“The hell she is!”

 

Cesare and Mick entered the venue side by side, and stopped before a large mirror hanging in a decorative frame in the foyer.

“Just look at us, Chez. We look like assholes.”

“Tell me again about how I let the girls do this to me. You didn’t exactly put up a fight, did you, big man?”

“Aw, fuck you. Well, thank God this is only an engagement party. At least there won’t be some damn photographer running around taking pictures.”

A voice from behind them piped up, startling them.

“Hold it, Gentlemen! Thank you.”

Mick stiffened.

“Hey, man, did you take our picture?”

“Yep. I’ve got you immortalized on film.”

Before Mick and Cesare could lay hands on the photographer and his camera, Lucrezia and Giulia arrived.

“Let us see,” Giulia exclaimed. “Oh, this picture is wonderful. How can we have you make us copies?”

“Here’s my card, miss. Just give me a call.”

“Wonderful," Lucrezia cried. "We’ll give photos to everyone.”

“No!” Mick and Cesare shouted as one voice.”

“But you look so handsome,” Giulia pouted. “Both of you.”

Fuming but knowing they were beaten, Mick and Cesare stomped into the restaurant, their expressions like that of the face on an iodine bottle.

“What’s with them, Lu?” Giulia wondered. “What made them so pissy?”

“I have no idea, Jules. But I can’t wait for everyone to see them. They look so cute with their matching man buns.”


	19. Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein our tale comes to a conclusion

The man bun experiment produced one unexpected but most welcome outcome, namely another man bun, from the oven of Giulia Corella, who gave birth to a vigorous, red haired boy named after his father. 

Claire Corella spent the night in the apartment of Uncle Cesare and Aunt Lucrezia while her mother was in the hospital and so enchanted the couple that they began thinking about cooking up their own little bun, but decided to wait until Lucrezia had gotten her baccalaureate. 

 

Cesare was not surprised when his brother was convicted of drug-related crimes and sent to prison.  While sorry for his parents’ grief and shame, Cesare was unsympathetic to Juan’s plight and, frankly, glad to be rid of him.  He took special care to visit his mother often and be kind and attentive to her.  Lucrezia’s affection also helped to console Vannozza.  Rodrigo kept his feelings behind a rigid exterior, but appeared to age ten years.  One day, he called Cesare into his office at work and told him that Juan’s attorney had just called with the news that Juan was being released from prison in a few days.

“Let out early for good behavior,” Rodrigo said proudly.  “Perhaps he’s learned his lesson.”

“You don’t believe that any more than I do, Dad.  I hate to say this to you, but Juan is just no damn good.  He’ll be in trouble for the rest of his life.”

“You’re cruel, Cesare.  You’re not a parent, so you have no idea what it’s been like for your mother and me with Juan in prison.  No matter what he is, he’s still our child and we will always love him.”

Cesare started to snap a retort, but then halted, biting off harsh words.

“I’m sorry, Dad.  You’re right.  I have such a hatred of Juan that it’s hard for me to be rational about him.  Of course you and Mom care about him.  I’ll try to be more understanding of your point of view.  Let’s hope he _has_ learned his lesson and comes out of prison a changed man.”

“Maybe he will.  Maybe there’s hope for him.” Rodrigo blurted eagerly.  “Do you think there’s anything more I can do for him?”

“In all honesty, I think you’ve done all you could, so give yourself that much credit.    You got him the best lawyer to be had, who mitigated his sentence more than he deserved.  You stood by him through it all.  Hold your head up.  But please be aware that I will not allow Juan anywhere near Lucrezia.  Ever.”

“You still believe Juan intended to rape her?”

“I _know_ , Dad.  I know he did.  I was there.  I saw.  Juan and Alphonse offered to give her to Mick and me when they were finished with her.”

“I’m sorry, Cesare.  I believe you.  But Juan is older now.  Perhaps wiser.  Reformed.”

“Maybe.  But I’m not risking Lucrezia’s safety on a gamble that he’s changed.”

“I hope that doesn’t mean that you intend to keep her away from your mother.  Lucrezia brings a lot of comfort to her.  She’s a good girl.”

“She cares about both of you.”

“She makes you happy, doesn’t she?”

“Stupidly, completely, outrageously happy.  Get to know her better, Dad.  You’ll love her too.”

“I already do, for what she’s brought to you and your mother. But I need to appreciate her for myself.  I’ll spend more time with her.”

“She’d like that.  She’s afraid you don’t much care for her.”

“I’m sorry for that.  I’ll make amends to her.  At first, I was shocked at how young she was.  Then with the ‘unpleasantness’ with Juan…well, you know.”

“I know.  I didn’t make it any easier for you to get closer to her, what with my being so determined to keep her away from Juan.”

“You were only being protective of her.”

“Dad, I sincerely hope Juan doesn’t let you and Mom down, but until I see for myself that he’s actually changed, I won’t believe it.”

“Please try to keep an open mind.  That’s all I ask.”

“For you, Dad, I will.”

 

Juan, having spent three years in jail, came home surprisingly chastened and contrite.  He had involved himself with group counseling and self-improvement sessions to curry favor with prison officials but surprised himself by coming to value these opportunities and to profit from them.  He stunned his brother one day by calling him to ask to speak to Lucrezia to offer her an apology for his actions towards her.  Cesare hovered over her as she listened to Juan’s apparently-heartfelt remorse and awkwardly expressed her forgiveness.

“I don’t know, Cesare,” she said afterwards.  “Maybe he’s being truthful.”

“Maybe.  But I still won’t let him anywhere near you, Bunny.”

She smiled at him and snuggled close.

 

“Hey, check it out, Dude.”

Sitting across from Cesare in a booth at their favorite sports bar, Mick told his tale with broad gestures and a tone of utter disbelief.

“So I’m at a coffee shop in the mall waiting for Jules and her mother to finish shopping, and  along comes, of all people, Charlotte Albert and she plunks her ass down at my table.  I’m trying to make small talk with her, you know, being polite and shit, and out of the blue, she reaches under the table and grabs my dick!  So I say ‘What the hell you doing, Charlotte?  Cut it out.’ And she says ‘I know you want this, Mick.  You don’t have to hide it.’  So I’m looking all around, scared to death that Jules and her mother are going to come along right then and get the wrong idea, and I take Charlotte’s hand off my crotch and I say ‘Look, you’ve got it all wrong.’”

Cesare’s eyes widened.

“Jesus Christ, Mick!  What a shock that must have been.”

“I’ll say.  Then she gets all mad and shit and starts yelling at me, saying I led her on.  So I ask her how she figures that I’m coming on to her, when all I said was ‘How are you?’ Chez, I swear that’s all I said to her.”

“Sounds to me like it was wishful thinking on her part.  What did you do?”

“I got up and left.  Called Jules and asked where she was and met her there.  Holy shit, Chez!  I got a wife and two kids.  The last thing I need is some bimbo offering me a piece of ass in a shopping mall.”

Cesare shook his head.

“I almost feel sorry for Charlotte, though, Mick.  She still doesn’t know how to relate to a man except through sex.  It may have gotten her a lot of attention when she was sixteen or so, but now she just comes across as a cheap joke.”

“Yeah, well, if Jules had seen me with Charlotte’s hand on my dick, it wouldn’t have been funny.  And don’t you remember the shitload of grief she got you into with Lucrezia?  I’m amazed you can feel sympathy for her.”

“She’s still a human being, Mick.”

“Giulia’s brother Alex was really hurt by that stunt she pulled with you at the cabin.  For some reason, he cared a lot for Charlotte.  He told me he was actually thinking about a future with her.”

“I’m sorry for him, but glad he realized that I had no part in what she did that night.”

“Yeah, he knew.  Think about this, Chez.  What Charlotte wanted more than anything was to hook up with a guy who had money.  Someone who could take care of her in style.  She could have had that with Alex, but she totally screwed it up.  It was her own damn fault.  Nobody else’s.”

“You’re right, Mick.  But, in fairness, look what I did to Lucrezia.  I’m damn lucky she was willing to take me back.”

“Must have been because of the big wiener that Charlotte told me you have.”

Cesare smacked Mick on the back of his head.

 

Cesare and Lucrezia were married on a benign spring day.  The ceremony took place in the park where they had first met.  Warm breezes caressed bared arms and carried the soft scent of fresh blossoms on the trees. 

Lucrezia wore an ivory silk dress and a crown of roses on her head as she walked by her father’s side.  Ahead of the bride, Claire Corella sprinkled petals from a basket of flowers.  Her brother Mike carried the wedding rings on a satin pillow.  Their parents appeared to be more nervous than the wedding couple, whom they stood beside as the clergyman read the vows. 

The guests sat on folding chairs arranged in the music pavilion.

Aunt Marie smiled through joyful tears.  Lucrezia’s mother gripped her sister’s hand and sobbed as Preston entrusted Lucrezia to Cesare’s tender care. 

“I’m so worried about her,” Virginia whispered to her sister.  “What if he isn’t good to her?”

Marie sighed.

“They’ve been together all this time, and Cesare has unfailingly treated her like a goddess.  They’re crazy about each other.  Honestly, Ginny, try to be happy.”

Marie wisely decided that now was not the time to disclose to Virginia the secret which Lucrezia had confided:  that she was three month’s pregnant. 

 

 A jolt of intense pleasure surged through Cesare’s entire body, yanking him out of a sound sleep.  He scrabbled for a moment to find his bearings, until he identified the source of the sensation.  Lucrezia’s small hands, cupping him.  Still foggy-headed, he murmured, “Hey, Bunny.  Give me a minute.  Let me wake up.”

“Cesare, darling, I’m sorry,” she whispered.  “I didn’t mean to disturb you.  It’s just that sometimes I simply have to hold you in my hands. Go back to sleep now.”

With a contented sigh, he covered her hands with his own and burrowed his nose against her neck.

“I’m all yours.”


End file.
